TO: GOD ; FROM: THE DOG Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, wi ll I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in th e middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Hi Linda, Could I possibly use that post in a website I am currently designing.I think it is great,and it will go well with the theme of my site,which is.....'It's A Dog's Life',you see,I have four Yorkshire Terriers,and they are getting on a bit now,two of them are rather frail,but still have a good quality of life left in them. I am dedicating the site to them,as they are so much fun,they have fantastic attitudes,and are very loveable little characters. It would be great to have this post on with your name underneath of course. Thanks, Gary.

Hello Linda,

Well your dog was a good one. He asked lot of good  questions. I had to read the whole post to laugh. You know where and when to make us laugh. The resume was at the end. Paragraph 12 is only for laughs.

What about your dog? Is he going to heaven and if yes where are his t...cles. Who keeps them now. Are you going with him?

Warm Regards
Georgios

Wow, Two in one day! You have outdone yourself, Linda.

In Membory of Bridgette, a sweet loving and very smart
dog, almost human who lived to be 23 years old
and passed away December 24, 2005.


If there is a heaven for dogs, she most definitely is there.