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What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man?
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If a mime swears does his mother wash his "hands" with soap ?
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Whose cruel idea was it to spell the word "lisp" with an "s"
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Why do you drive on a Parkway and park on a Drive way?
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Why do your feet smell and your nose runs?
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If "Con is the opposite of "Pro" is " Congress " the opposite of" Progress"
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Why is it called 7-11 if it's open 24 hours
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If convenient stores are open 24 hours, why is there locks on the doors?
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Why do they call it Minute Rice when it takes 10 minutes to boil?
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If olive oil is made out of olives, what is baby oil made of?
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Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
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Why do drive up ATM's have Braille on them?
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If a pig loses it voice is it "disgruntled"?
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If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a hamhock?
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If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy?
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If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday how come nothing is free yet?
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How can there be self help groups?
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Why aren't there any grapes or nuts in grape-nuts?
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Can a storm be designated a tornado without touching down in a trailer park?
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May I refuse to inherit the earth?
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If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
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How do you get off a non stop flight?
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How come wrong numbers are never busy?
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What's the speed of dark?
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How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
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If aliens are smart enough to travel through space why do they keep abducting the dumbest people?
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If we're not supposed to eat late night snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
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Why is it when we ship something by truck we call it a shipment, but if we send something by ship it's called a cargo?
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Why doesn't your body slam up against the back of a plane when you jump up?
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If babies are so cute when they're born, how come half of them grow up to be ugly old men?
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Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick?"
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
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Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
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If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
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Is it really an optical illusion, or does it just look that way?
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Can a person without eyebrows show surprise?
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Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed ?
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Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery" ?
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Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin ?
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Why is "abbreviated" such a long word ?
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Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips ?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour ?
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Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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If it's zero degrees outside today and it's suppose to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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You know most packages say "open here". But, what should you do if the package says " open somewhere else?"
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If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and cats always land feet first, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast to the back of a cat ?
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What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way ?
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Why is there an eject button on the remote control ( u still gotta get up n take the tape out )
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Why is "abbreviated "such a long word?
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Why is it rain drops but snow falls?
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If you have a bunch of "odds and ends" and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend ?
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Why does Hawaii have interstate highways