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Hello All My AdlandPro Family and Friends!
Here is Commandment #8 for you today!
"What thy brethren think of thee mattereth naught."
Ask yourself this question, "How important to me are others' opinions of me?" Your mind will probably respond, "Not much really." But your emotions will probably have a very different answer indeed. Perhaps you have a strong inner critic who reminds you constantly how you look and sound to others - it may even make you feel that they are constantly checking you and your behavior out.
To be honest, we all have a cetain investment in how others perceive us. Much of this we learned from an early age. Our parents looked at us critically as we tried to live up to their expectations. Our teachers viewed uscritically as we tried to embody thier lessons and ideals. Our friends were extremely critical as we tried hard to fit in with the "in crowd" and yet try to retain our individuality. And society, with its obsession with beautiful people in the media, gives us a definite standard by which we are suppose to evaluate ourselves. Who can escape this gauntlet of opinions?
When we learn to value ourselves, we are able to put others' opinions into truer perspective. We can then learn from others without allowing ourselves to be hurt from them. We can discriminate between people who are projecting their issues onto us and those who truly have our best interest at heart. We can listen to others' advice, decide what would be helpful to us, and then easily let go of the rest. We have the ability to find wisdom in others' lives and then begin to incorporate it into our own life. In other words, we have healthy self-esteem.
It is important to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy criticism. The main difference here is one of motive. Most people will freely offer criticism that is negative in nature. While a true friend will offer constructive criticism or advice, that is geared to our growth and betterment.
A healthy self-esteem will choose carefully what it will listen to, and ignore the negative people and critics. Eventually the strongest voice we listen to will be our own inner self.
Resolutions -
1) Sit down, close your eyes, and mentally review the opinions others have had of you. Make a list of all those that stick out in your mind the most.
2) Make note of which are constructive and which are not. Review the effect those opinions had, both positive and negative, on your behavior and on your success or failure.
3) Choose one area of your life in which you have certainty of your own beliefs. Feel it filling your body with its energy, then visualize yourself expressing that belief and acting on it in your life.
Take time to appreciate yourself for having such an awesome conviction, and love yourself for being a strong individual. Then go out and express that belief to others and take some action on it, and notice how you feel afterwards.
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Never worry about what other people think of you...others are not your judge. You do not have to answer to anyone on this earth for what you do, and who you are. Your only judge is God, and He is the only one you have to answer to.
Live your life the way that you feel God wants you to live it, not the way others think you should. Don't make their beliefs be yours unless you feel it is right for you. People love to criticze others, and there are many negative people in this world. A true friend will never try to hurt you, but instead will try to help you be all that you can be, respect you for who you truly are, and love you for yourself. More importantly you need to love yourself, and feel good about yourself always.
Marilyn L. Ali
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