Hi Julia I'm going to tell you a little secret about myself. Up untill about 9 years ago the only hope I had was that I would either make it through another day or that I would find a way to kill myself that would work a little better than all of the other ways that I had already tried. Back when my daughters were about 7 and 8 and I was still married, I went off in my old jeep cherokee into the woods. I rolled up all the windows and pumped the exaust fumes into my old jeep. I got very very sleepy. I got a bad headache. Then I got so sleepy that I couldn't even move to get more comfortable and I fell into a deep deep sleep.The next thing I remember was waking up and the window in the drivers side door had fallen down inside the door and filled my old jeep up with fresh air. I managed to drive home and my wife told me to go get some help somewhere. I went to the hospital and was admitted in to a psyc hospital for 30 days. I got released from there with a perscription for 100 mgms of amyltriptoline per day and I could only get 7 pills at a time because of their toxicity level. A month after that my wife filed for a divorce so I had to go find a new place to live far away so I couldn't bother her anymore. I knew I would if I stayed near. A little whil after that I decided I didn't want to take my medicine anymore but I still went and got my 7 pills every week and started saving them. I was at my Dads house by then and one morning I got up and told Dad I was going to town. I drove down the road in my old jeep and ate all my little pills and washed them down with what I thought would be my vey last cup of coffee. About 4000 mgms. Enough to kill an elephant or or two. Well, through a set of the strangest circumstances that you could even imagin, I came back out of the woods that day and was life flighted to Pittsburgh. I was in a coma, unresponsive to treatment and on life support with no chance of survival. For 3 days they tried to convince Dad to pull the plug but he kept saying " lets wait a little longer " After 3 and a half days I woke up with a big ole smile on my face. So by then I was beginning that there was some purpose for my life but I didn't know what it was yet. Now, after some 16 more years of on and off again treatment and a whole lot of soul searching, I figure my purpose for life is to spread the message of hope to all the new friends I have now from all over the world. So my Dear, to make a long story just a tiny bit longer, there is no need to thank me. I get my thanks from the fact that finally, my life has purpose. And that's the name of that tune. sincerly, Bill/Fanbelt

Bill, with working with all types of children and my mother had some type of mental illness and I really didn't understand alot about it, because of the technogy was not available then. She couldn't walk and had a lot of seizure. I talk about it more after she died a year ago, and had a parent who have some type of her problem and they don't expect here to have a nomal life.

Hello Rebecca I understand about you not talking much about it untill after your mother died. You are right about there not being much technology available to us also. Because mental illness has been treated by society in general as something less than a real illness, many people who have a mental illness or a family member with the illness found it very difficult to talk about it. That is still very true even now in 2005. There is a terrible lack of understanding by many, about mental illness. This is one of the main reasons for the stigma. Lack of understanding. This is why I think it is so important for us to try to provide opportunities for people to express their feelings to others who do understand mental illness. You don't have to be afraid to talk about it anymore because as you will see more and more as time goes by, that there really are others who understand and are very happy to have a chance to share their stories with someone just like you. I truly hope that this forum will bring you hope and comfort in knowing that you are not alone. If you ever want more information than what you find here in this forum, please feel free to let me know. I will send you links to places where you can find the information you want. Thank you so much for sharring your feelings with us here and please come back any time you want OK? Sincrly.Bill Vanderbilt/Fanbelt

Hello Julia I haven't heard much from you in a little while so I thought it might be time for another little message of hope. Wait till you read this article and then tell me if you feel a little better about the the way people are finally catching on to things when it comes to mental illness. Sincerly, Bill Vanderbilt Posted on Tue, Oct. 11, 2005 M O R E N E W S F R O M • Charitable Organizations MENTAL HEALTH: Joining hands for awareness By Lisa Davis Herald Staff Writer Members of the community joined hands Monday, stretching all the way across the front and around either side of the Grand Forks County Office Building. It was their way of honoring the unique struggles and achievements of people with mental health disorders around the world. The "Hands of Hope" rally also serves to reduce commonly held misconceptions about mental illness. Keynote speaker Dr. Steven Hill is a clinical associate professor of neuroscience at the UND School of Medicine and a psychiatrist at the Northeast Human Service Center. He pointed out that people with mental illnesses look no different than anyone else. "As I look out, I see tall people, short people ... people in good health and those with developmental disabilities," Hill said. "We also have individuals with psychiatric problems." Awareness And while that diversity offers challenges, he said it is important that people be culturally sensitive and aware of the stigmas of mental illness. He encouraged mental health providers to allow their patients to have a say in their treatment, and for agencies and the public to work together so people with mental illnesses can achieve their goals and dreams. More than 54 million Americans, or 20 percent of the general population, experience symptoms of a mental disorder in any given year, according to a 1999 Surgeon General's report on Mental Health. Prairie Harvest Foundation director Deb Johnson said she decided to bring the "Hands of Hope" program to the county last year after seeing a similar demonstration in Ohio. It is just one way to make people aware of mental illness and those affected by it. To help reach that goal, Prairie Harvest also plans to release a calendar in November called "Faces of mental illness," which will feature artwork submitted by people with mental illnesses. Guest speakers Also as part of Mental Health Awareness Week, guest speakers from local human service agencies will be visiting the health careers classrooms at Red River and Central High schools to share information about mental health and illness with the students. For more information about mental illnesses, visit The American Psychiatric Association's Web site at www.healthyminds.org or the Web site of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill at www.nami.org. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reach Davis at (701) 780-1105, (800) 477-6572, ext. 105; or ldavis@gfherald.com.

Hello Friends. I read a forum alittle while ago about some of our soldiers that didn't come back home alive. It broke my heart to think about them. As we all realize though,this is an unfortunate part of our lives right now and there isn't much we can do to help those who have sacraficed their lives.There is something that we can do to help the soldiers that do make it back home. The following article will explain. Home > Braintree Forum > Opinion & Letters Schiavone: Be aware of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder By Peter Schiavone Wednesday, October 12, 2005 Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can be a debilitating disorder that afflicts veterans. Many veterans have experienced violent situations. PTSD is an emotional response resulting from having experienced a trauma or traumas. If the veteran in your life, or you, has been diagnosed with PTSD, you may feel alone and helpless. There is help. There is support within the veteran community available to you and your family. The veteran centers in our area have trained professionals, free of charge, who can begin the assessment process and guide you on your way to recovery. Returning combat veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan not only deserve our thanks and support, but some may need our help. We are all aware of the readjustment challenges some veterans of past conflicts experienced and the adverse impact this had on society. We should not wait for the inevitable problems that may affect today's soldier. An estimated one in six soldiers returning from Iraq and Afghanistan will experience effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Many experts expect the ratio to be far greater based on the fact that the research was conducted in the early stage of the Iraq War. The surveyed soldiers only included troops willing to report problems and did not include reservists who tend to suffer a higher rate of psychological injury than career soldiers. Experts predict that 100,000 returning soldiers will require mental health treatment related to PTSD. Mental health professionals say they fear the system is not moving fast enough to treat the trauma of combat. They say slowness to recognize what was happening to Vietnam veterans contributed to the psychological devastation from the war. More than 30 percent of Vietnam veterans eventually suffered from the condition that more than a decade later was given the name post-traumatic stress disorder, but since their distress was not clinically understood until long after the war ended, most went for years without meaningful treatment. We must prepare ourselves now to help our new veterans whatever their needs. If Iraq veterans can be helped sooner, they may fare better than those who fought in Vietnam, say mental health experts, who note that the nation, although divided on the Iraq war, is more united in caring for the needs of returning soldiers than it was in the Vietnam era. As a Marine combat veteran of Vietnam, I can speak from personnel experience that PTSD must be recognized and dealt with as soon as possible. Get your veteran to me, and I can help. I know that each time I hear the national anthem, view the stars and stripes, and hear the Marine Corps Hymn, the shadows of my past come to mind. I remember what Sgt. Macdonald said to me as I was leaving Vietnam in 1968, "Schiavone, you're going home, but remember, for those who fight for it, life has a flavor the protected will never know." Survival and return to the world were not what you expected them to be. The reason for this is that while you were in Vietnam, you lost your innocence. The lasting effect of the loss of innocence is echoed in the words of a fellow Vietnam vet. "The years others new as youth, I spent learning the meaning of death. The times others spent learning to love, I passed hoping to live through endless nights. The moments others remember as laughs in classrooms, I remember terror in the jungle. "The instants of pleasure taken for granted by others, I remember as forgotten hopes, long ago crushed by the reality of war. The unfulfilled dreams of others are yet to be thought by me since I am in search of my elusive youth, looking for years lost in combat, which are no more and will never be." Combat veterans walk with the shadows of their past, still fighting the war for inner peace. I have experienced that war. You can never be closer to a man than when you struggle with him, either to kill him or help him overcome death. Peter Schiavone is Braintree's director of veterans' services