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Helen Elias

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/13/2010 6:25:57 PM

IDIOT SIGHTING

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two..."


IDIOT SIGHTING:


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $425, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.


IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman, KS.



IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco
Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Spend $4 and get back $10 every time you spend. Contact me (Helen) at this email »»» zhebee@yahoo.com
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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/13/2010 8:55:56 PM

Hi Helen,

Those are cute. We've all seen 'em now haven't we. Reminds me of my favorite Comedian, you know the one that's always saying...

Here's Your Sign!

_______________

Well Duh!

_______________

Well Double Duh!

_______________

I Think We Might Be Onto Something

______________

And To The Winner Goes...

_______________

Have A Happy Week,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Jim
Jim Allen

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/14/2010 12:40:33 AM

Well... You do have to admit the following is funny, just not hah hah funny.


No American lives at stake here so a Quick Response was needed.


Quote:




Good Afternoon,

Thereportsand images from Haiti of collapsed hospitals, crumbled homes,and menand women carrying their injured neighbors through the streetsare trulyheart-wrenching. As we learn more about the extent of thedevastation,our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Haiti andHaitianAmericans around our country who do not yet know the fate oftheirfamilies and loved ones back home.

I have directedmyAdministration to respond with a swift, coordinated andaggressiveeffort to save lives. The people of Haiti will have the fullsupport ofthe United States Government in the urgent effort to rescuethosetrapped beneath the rubble and to deliver the humanitarian relief--the food, water and medicine -- that Haitians will need in thecomingdays.

This is also a time when we are reminded of thecommonhumanity that we all share, and Americans have always respondedtothese situations with generosity of spirit. If you would liketosupport the urgent humanitarian effort in Haiti, I encourage youtovisit our website where you can learn more about how to contribute:

http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/HaitiEarthquake

Americans trying to locate family members in Haiti are encouraged to contact the State Department at (888) 407-4747.

We will continue to stand with the people of Haiti and keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama




May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
Everything You Need For Online Success


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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/14/2010 6:53:01 AM
Hey All,

Love all your jokes but here's a seriously funny one and the topic again is Tiiiiiiiiger.

Shalom,

Peter

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession
to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with
him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second
time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you
doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to
get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and
starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods. To find out what the par is for this ****
hole."
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle (On Saturday - Again :) ) 5/8/09
1/14/2010 3:24:39 PM

A traveler walks into an Inn slaps a $100 bill on the counter andsays "I will go upstairs to inspect your rooms to see if any aresuitable"

While the traveler is inspecting the rooms..

The Inn Keeper runs to the butcher with the $100 and pays his bill.

The butcher then runs to the pig farmer with the $100 to pay his bill.

The pig farmer then runs to the local hooker to pay his bill with the $100 (hookers with credit ?)

The hooker then runs to the Inn Keeper to pay her bill with the $100.

TheInn Keeper slaps the $100 bill back on the counter as the travelerreturns and declares "None of your rooms are suitable" picks up his$100 bill and leaves town.

So without spending a dime the traveler has wiped out the entire towns debt.

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