Densest Element In The Universe Found
PELOSIUM
The densest element yet known, Pelosium, has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. The particles are held together by dark forces called morons that are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Pelosium's symbol is PU. Pelosium's mass increases over time as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere leading to the formation of isodopes.
The trait of moron-promotion leads scientists to believe Pelosium is formed when morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This unknown hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates MSNBCadnausium, an element that radiates more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.