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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/1/2012 3:38:49 PM

Hello friends, here is something my brother sent me and remember these people not only reproduce, but vote too. :)

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL
breed.


Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? 
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas 
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning 
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. 
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? 
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight 
Q. What is a turbine? 
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head 
 
.
+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/2/2012 4:04:32 AM
Hello All,

I really enjoy all the postings. I have here a song that I know most of you will enjoy......


God Bless Everyone
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/2/2012 10:09:43 AM
Hi Evelyn,

Yep, they'll vote and "reproduce", they also pollute the air every time they take a breath. What I recommend they do is "be fruitful and multiply themselves". :)

Shalom,

Peter

Quote:

Hello friends, here is something my brother sent me and remember these people not only reproduce, but vote too. :)

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL
breed.


Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot
yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery
(So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax
contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
(That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? 
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas 
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning 
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. 
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? 
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight 
Q. What is a turbine? 
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head 
 
.
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/2/2012 10:12:50 AM
Hey Gaby,

Great to see you here. My condolences on the death of your brother.

I loved the video and you were so right many of us will not only appreciate but love its message. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Shalom,

Peter

Quote:
Hello All,

I really enjoy all the postings. I have here a song that I know most of you will enjoy......


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
Peter Fogel

1470
7259 Posts
7259
Invite Me as a Friend
Top 25 Poster
Person Of The Week
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/2/2012 1:06:35 PM
Hi All,

Here's the second episode of NewsBusted for the week. Today we'll find out why Bill Clinton thinks he's a "folk" figure like Babe Ruth, which other politician aside from Mitt never worked a day in Washington and much more.

Shalom,

Peter


EPISODE 506 topics

--Mitt Romney

--President Obama working to lower gas prices?

--European Union bailout of Greece

--Bill Clinton a 'folk figure' like Babe Ruth?

--Muslim Home Schooling

--A white supremacist joins black gang to sell meth.

--Pat Buchanan blacklisted at MSNBC.

--Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv345cGJ9G4&feature=uploademail


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0


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