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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/7/2012 4:00:13 PM

An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students
to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful!!!!
:)
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/7/2012 6:36:29 PM
Here is one that I know you will like Peter!

Two coffee in Heaven

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven,
Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohamed?' he asks.
'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohamed is higher up.'
Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohamed should be higher than St. Peter,
Obama climbs the ladder in great strides,
climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room
where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?'
'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses;
Mohamed is higher still.'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy
he climbs the ladder yet again.

He discovers a larger room where he meets an
angelic looking man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again,
'Are you Mohamed?'

'No, I am Jesus, the Christ;
you will find Mohamed higher up.'

Mohamed higher than Jesus!
Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his
delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.

Once again, he reaches an even larger room
where he meets this truly magnificent looking man
with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question:

'Are you Mohamed?' he gasps as he is by now,
totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega,
but you look exhausted.
Would you like a cup of coffee?'

Obama says, 'Yes please!'
As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out:
'Hey,Mohamed, two coffees!'

Keep your trust in God;
your president is an idiot.

God Bless Everyone
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/8/2012 2:57:18 PM
Hi Gaby,

Your last two jokes are fantastic but you're so right I loved the quoted joke below.

Thanks & Shalom,

Peter

Quote:
Here is one that I know you will like Peter!

Two coffee in Heaven

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven,
Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard.
'Are you Mohamed?' he asks.
'No my son, I am St. Peter; Mohamed is higher up.'
Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohamed should be higher than St. Peter,
Obama climbs the ladder in great strides,
climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room
where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, 'Are you Mohamed?'
'Why no,' he answers, 'I am Moses;
Mohamed is higher still.'

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy
he climbs the ladder yet again.

He discovers a larger room where he meets an
angelic looking man with a beard.
Full of hope, he asks again,
'Are you Mohamed?'

'No, I am Jesus, the Christ;
you will find Mohamed higher up.'

Mohamed higher than Jesus!
Man, oh man! Obama can hardly contain his
delight and climbs and climbs ever higher.

Once again, he reaches an even larger room
where he meets this truly magnificent looking man
with a silver white beard and once again repeats his question:

'Are you Mohamed?' he gasps as he is by now,
totally out of breath from all his climbing.
'No, my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega,
but you look exhausted.
Would you like a cup of coffee?'

Obama says, 'Yes please!'
As God looks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out:
'Hey,Mohamed, two coffees!'

Keep your trust in God;
your president is an idiot.

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/8/2012 2:58:28 PM
Hi All,

Got this one from a good friend yesterday and think it's well worth sharing.

Shalom,

Peter

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!


FREE PUPPIES

1/2
Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered
German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY
!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.


WEDDING DRESS
FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


Statement of the Century


Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"


Children Are Quick

____________________________________

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....
______________________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
(I want to adopt this kid!!!)
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Mr.
Mr. D

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/8/2012 8:12:49 PM

Hi Peter, I was going through a few things and noticed this thread.

Been reading some of the jokes here and pretty funny.

I will ask before doing, but I sure would like to try and

a challenge to do a header for this thread to see if you like it.

Let me know.

I have a couple of jokes too, just not in text yet.

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