Readers of New York magazine were asked to invent country-song titles. Here are some entries:

- Ain't No Trash In My Trailer Since The Night I Threw You Out

- You Wanted To Get Hitched, But My Heart Is Filled With Whoa

- Baked My Sweetie A Pie, But He Left With A Tart

- I Lost My Honey Bunny On A Bad Hare Day

- She Chews Tobacco, But She Didn't Choose Me

- The Peach I Picked In Georgia Didn't Cling To Me For Long

- Don't Want That Floozy In My Jacuzzi

- I Found The Recipe For Heartbreak In A Cookbook On Your Shelf

- Now That We're Miserable, I Hope You're Happy

If young people knew how to use a rotary phone, they could call Heaven and talk to the angels. It takes a rotary phone to call Heaven, because they always have a real ring.

If they knew how to use a manual can opener, they could have soup without a pop top.

If they knew how to use a manual bottle opener, they could have a drink without a twist cap.

When I was a kid, my idea of "cool" was people who had a bottle-opener attached to the wall of their patio.

When my sons were little, I found them intently studying the bottle/can opener, and it has a magnet on the back, a very dangerous-looking pokey fridge magnet. They asked me what it was...and it's difficult to resist saying "It's a kid-puncturer!" LOL.

Nice one Peter.

Point well made.

Roger