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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/1/2011 1:22:41 AM

Hi Peter & Friends,

Just got this in my email this Evening and I thought that you all might enjoy it.

~~~~~~~~~~

On a Greyhound Bus headed who knows where, three strangers meet and start conversation about the recent world events.

The Strangers were of varying cultures, and ethnicity. One was Native American. Another was a cowboy from Texas. The other person was a devout Muslim.

During their conversation, they began to discuss their cultural history.

The Native American stated: "Once my people were many, and now we are few."

The Muslim then chimed in and said: "Once my people were few, and now we are many."

The Texan looked at the Muslim and said with a sly grin, "That's 'cause we ain't played cowboys and Muslims yet."

~~~~~~~~~~

Now that we have a copy of Obammy's "Birth Certificate", Yeah Right!Can anyone clear up what has really always worried me...

JUST HOW MUSLIM IS HE?

Have A Great Week My Friends,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/2/2011 7:02:30 AM
Hi Phil & All,
Good to see you back Phil. I hope all is well with you and that we'll see more of you here. Loved your joke and of course I have to agree with your "yeah right" in regard to B Hussein's birth certificate.
Here's one I think you'll enjoy. Israeli ingenuity as opposed to Palestinian "technology. Hmmmmmm, that deserves another YEAH RIGHT. :)
Shalom,
Peter

Arab Dog vs Israeli Dog

The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So, they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: A duel of two, like David and Goliath. This duel would be a dog fight.
The negotiators agreed each side would
take 5 years to develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its people the right to rule the disputed areas. The losing side would have to lay down its arms for good.

The Arabs fond the biggest, meanest Doberman's and Rottweiler's in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy of each litter, fed it the best food and killed all the other puppies. They used steroids and
trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. And after the 5 years were up, they had a dog that needed steel prison bars on its cage. Only expert trainers could handle this incredibly nasty and ferocious beast.

When the day of the big dog-fight finally arrived, the Israelis showed up with a very strange-looking animal, a Dachshund that was 10 feet long!
Everyone at the dogfight arena felt sorry for the Israelis. No one there seriously thought this weird, odd-looking animal stood any chance against the growling beast over in the Arab camp. All the bookies took a
look and predicted that the Arab dog would win in less than a minute.

As the cages were opened, the Dachshund very slowly waddled towards the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leaped from its cage and charged the giant ''wiener-dog''. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast whole in one bite. There was nothing left but a small puff of fur from the Arab killer dog's tail floating to the ground.
The stunned crowd of international observers, bookies and media personnel let out a collective gasp of disbelief and
surprise.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, muttering and shaking their heads in disbelief. "We do not understand," said their leader, "Our top scientists and breeders worked for 5 long years with the meanest, biggest Doberman's, Rottweiler's and Siberian wolves, and they developed an incredible killing machine of a dog!"

The Israelis replied. "Well, for 5 years, we have had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons from Boca Raton working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/2/2011 5:09:10 PM
I now have my answer to this body of mine!
I have been using the wrong bottle!

When I take a shower I often use my
shampoo to lather myself.
Well, I just read the label
on the bottle ----- "For Extra Volume & Body".

No wonder it is so difficult to keep my weight under control.
Starting today, I am going to use dish-washing liquid for
showering - that label reads, "Dissolves fat that is otherwise
difficult to remove"!

ALWAYS READ THE LABELS!

:)
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/3/2011 6:17:53 PM
.
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.

"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."

:)
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
5/3/2011 6:20:51 PM
.

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.... Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station...

The conversation went like this, ''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?'' "This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn." Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!'' There was dead silence on the line for a moment.. Father O'Malley then replied, "Aye, 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

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