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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/19/2011 12:41:53 AM

What an interesting video Peter. I will have to watch it again to see what I missed the first time. A lot to comprehend there. :)

NEVER BEEN KISSED

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"

The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."

The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."

The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?"

Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"

The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"

The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"

:)

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/19/2011 4:22:35 AM
Hi Peter, I loved that video I was amazed, thank you for sharing.

Evelyn love that last one....lol....

A Fun Fact for Each State

ALABAMA ................... Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968.
ALASKA ...................... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license.
ARIZONA ......................Is the only state in the continental U.S. that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time.
ARKANSAS ................ Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S.
CALIFORNIA ............... Its economy is so large that if it were a country, it would rank seventh in the entire world.
COLORADO ................ In 1976 it became the only state to turn down the Olympics.
CONNECTICUT ........... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University
DELAWARE ............... Has more scientists and engineers than any other state.
FLORIDA .................... At 874.3 square miles, Jacksonville is the U.S. 's largest city.
GEORGIA ................... It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola.
HAWAII ...................... Hawaiians live, on average, five years longer than residents in any other state.
IDAHO ........................ TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
ILLINOIS .....................Has a Governor in jail. one pending jail & the most corrupt state in the union!
INDIANA .....................Home to Santa Claus, Indiana , which get a half million letters to Santa every year.
IOWA ........................Winnebago get their name from Winnebago County . Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels.
KANSAS ...................... Liberal, Kansas, has an exact replica of the house in The Wizard of Oz.
KENTUCKY ................ Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox.
LOUISIANA ................ Has parishes instead of counties because they were originally Spanish church units.
MAINE ........................ It's so big, it covers as many square miles as the other five New England states combined.
MARYLAND ............... The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892..
MASSACHUSETTS ...... The Fig Newton is named after Newton , Massachusetts..
MICHIGAN ................. ..Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world.
MINNESOTA ...............Bloomingtons Mall of America is so big, if you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days.
MISSISSIPPI .............. President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here .... that's how the teddy bear got its name.
MISSOURI ................ .Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone.
MONTANA .................. A sapphire from Montana is in the Crown Jewels of England..
NEBRASKA ................ More triplets are born here than in any other state.
NEW HAMPSHIRE ...... Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper.
NEW JERSEY ............. Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world.
NEW MEXICO ............ Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here.
NEW YORK ................ Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch, started in 1747 in Montauk.
NORTH CAROLINA ..... Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut.
NORTH DAKOTA ........ Rigby , North Dakota , is the exact geographic center of North America .
OHIO .......................... The hot dog was invented here in 1900.
OKLAHOMA ............... The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells.
OREGON .................... Has the most ghost towns in the country..
PENNSYLVANIA ......... The smiley, : ) was first used in 1980 by computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University .
RHODE ISLAND ......... The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse Tavern, opened here in 1673.
SOUTH CAROLINA ..... Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm.
SOUTH DAKOTA ........ Is the only state that's never had an earthquake.
TENNESSEE ............... Nashville 's Grand Ole Opry is the longest running live radio show in the world.
TEXAS ........................ Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in 1885. The Hamburger was invented in Arlington, Texas in 1906.
UTAH ......................... The first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant opened here in 1952.
VERMONT ................... Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's.
VIRGINIA .................... Home of the world's largest office building....| The Pentagon.
WASHINGTON ........... Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state.
WASHINGTON D.C. .... Was the first planned capital in the world.
WEST VIRGINIA ......... Had the world's first brick paved street, Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870.
WISCONSIN ............... The ice cream sundae was invented here in 1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays.
WYOMING ...................Was the first state to allow women to vote.

God Bless Everyone
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/19/2011 10:32:05 AM
Hi All,
Thanks Gaby and Evelyn for your latest contributions. Great stuff and keep em coming.
Here's one I think you'll get a kick out of.
Shalom,
Peter
P.S. I also thought the video is amazing and the future doesn't look so bad when private enterprise is allowed to do what it does best without government intervention.


Joe And The Vaseline
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.

He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.'

And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.

But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.'

'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.

In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.

So he leans over and kisses Sandra.

No one says a word.

So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.

Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom..

'She's got a great body,' he thinks.
So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every which way right there on the dinner table. After she has a big orgasm, he sits down again.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is pleasantly beaming. -- But still, Total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket...

Suddenly the father shouted....
--- "I'll do the damn dishes"!!!
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/19/2011 10:41:29 AM
Hi All,

Here's a cute one for all y'all. Different strokes for different folks is the name of the game here. :)

Shalom,

Peter

There were five houses of religion in a small town:
The Presbyterian Church,
The Baptist Church,
The Methodist Church ,
The Catholic Church and
The Jewish Synagogue.
Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church
Called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In The BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week
The Methodist Church
got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- The Catholic Church
Came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter.
Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue,
but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
2/19/2011 3:16:44 PM

Good one Evelyn!

Here's one of my favorite Larry jokes.

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'


Len LaChapelle The Perfect Business. Free to join and no monthly fees. Earn a 5 figure income. http://bit.ly/x8vuim
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