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LOLOLOL. To both of those last ones ;)

I don't have a joke but just got back from walking and have a poem that formed in my head from this horrific real-life situation out there...

Tell me that can't be poo

on my almost-new shoe

I thought it was a green burr

fallen from the tree up ther

but it was bright green dog poo

now on my almost-new shoe

So I guess I gotta walk thru

a puddle or two or few

to remove the green dog poo

from my almost new-shoe

Who woulda knew

about green dog poo?

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Hi All,

A Happy and Properous New Year to all my Adland friends.

Shalom,

Peter

Happy New Year Peter and to all our jokester friends. :) And Kathleen it is indeed great to see you back. You were missed. Here is something for in the morning. :)

Thanks, Peter!

I had a very down-home (in Philadelphia? yes) non-internet access visit with my parents for 6 days, with mandatory eating at the table for 3 meals daily, with little glasses with oranges on them, for orange juice, and washing dishes immediately after every meal, I am VERY glad to be back to my house where I can be a big kid ALL the time. Re-assembling my father's coffeepot every day, because he takes it all apart to wash it...i could make a list of how many ways he drives me bonkers...but he should run a bed&breakfast inn, he never relaxes, makes sure everyone has everything they need, all the time.

The man who got on my last nerve all my life, i've spent the past few years saying he's great, and now my kids say he's great...the baseball-sized meatballs with onions that were the bane of my existence in childhood, are my son's favorites, and the 78 & a half year old Grandpa...The Grandpa who thinks he's still 49, he's Great! Also a Korean War veteran, AirForce, and raised on a farm in South Dakota, obviously it all leads to a lifetime of being in control of everything & lately recognized greatness. He's busy with my mom and her Alzheimers, still trying to maintain as much normalcy as possible.

Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover

1. You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
4. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
5. You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
7. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
8. Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
9. You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
10. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"

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Thanks, Peter!

I had a very down-home (in Philadelphia? yes) non-internet access visit with my parents for 6 days, with mandatory eating at the table for 3 meals daily, with little glasses with oranges on them, for orange juice, and washing dishes immediately after every meal, I am VERY glad to be back to my house where I can be a big kid ALL the time. Re-assembling my father's coffeepot every day, because he takes it all apart to wash it...i could make a list of how many ways he drives me bonkers...but he should run a bed&breakfast inn, he never relaxes, makes sure everyone has everything they need, all the time.

The man who got on my last nerve all my life, i've spent the past few years saying he's great, and now my kids say he's great...the baseball-sized meatballs with onions that were the bane of my existence in childhood, are my son's favorites, and the 78 & a half year old Grandpa...The Grandpa who thinks he's still 49, he's Great! Also a Korean War veteran, AirForce, and raised on a farm in South Dakota, obviously it all leads to a lifetime of being in control of everything & lately recognized greatness. He's busy with my mom and her Alzheimers, still trying to maintain as much normalcy as possible.