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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/8/2010 4:03:20 PM
Hi All,
This one's Hilarious.
Shalom,
Peter

Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....
Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot
right through the window of the biggest house
adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful!
Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner,
apologize and see how much your lousy drive is
going to cost us.'

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked
on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.'

When they opened the door they saw the damage
that was done: glass was all over the place, and a
broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the
broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the
people that broke my wind ow?'

'Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the
husband replied.
'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to
thank you... You see, I'm a genie , and I've been
trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now
that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three
wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't
mind, I'll keep the last one for myself.'

'Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered
a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars
a year for the rest of my life.'

'No problem,' said the genie. 'You've got it, it's the
least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy
life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?'
the genie asked.

'I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with
servants in every country in the world,' she said.

'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes
will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural
disasters!'

'And now,' the couple asked in unison, what's your
wish, genie?'

'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and
haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand
years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.'

The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee,
honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and
all those houses. What do you think?'

She mulled it over for a few moments and said,
'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune,
I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?'

'You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband.
I'd do the same for you!'

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where
they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each
other in every way. After about three hours of
non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly
into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your
husband?'

'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly.

'NO SH*T.' He said, 'Thirty-five years old and both
of you still believe in genies?'
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Kathleen Vanbeekom

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/8/2010 4:42:56 PM

LOL!

I'd be more annoyed about not getting my servant-filled house on every continent, and not too bothered about hours of great sex with the non-genie :)

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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/8/2010 4:54:08 PM
Hi All, Did any of you ever consider why Air Hostesses hand out pillows during flights? Watch the video and find out. :)
Shalom,
Peter

Peter Fogel
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/9/2010 6:06:01 PM
The following are actual statements found in insurance
forms where drivers attempted to summarize the details
of an accident in the fewest words.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't have.

I thought my window was down, but I found out it was
up when I put my head through it.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
mother- in-law, and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my
way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang
up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the
wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble
when my universal joint gave way causing me to have
an accident.

As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever
appeared before.

I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the
other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car
and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon
removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the curb when I struck him.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting
to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.
I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was
later found in the ditch by some stray cows.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a
small car with a big mouth.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so
I ran over him.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning
of its intentions.

I collided with a stationary car going the other way.




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Robert De Merode

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
12/9/2010 6:55:04 PM
Double check your computer before calling for help from your IT guy!

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him,
“So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:
“An ID ten T error?
What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?”
The computer guy grinned….
“Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
“Write it down,” he said, “
and I think you’ll figure it out.”


So I wrote out …… I D 1 0 T

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