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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/23/2010 9:27:19 PM

Hi Peter,

Just ran across this one and guess who I immediately thought of that would really like it?

The Pope Visits Alaska

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sight-seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods.

A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "To H*ll with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10 foot grizzly.

As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest... The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic Environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"

"It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom."

"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Vermont and snatch another one?

Have A Happy Weekend,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/23/2010 9:31:18 PM
Hi Phil,
Thanks for your kind wishes they are much appreciated.
I guess we're well rounded now with a boy after 2 granddaughters. I have a feeling that the girls along with the grandparents will spoil him rotten and I for one will enjoy every minute of it. :)
Shalom,
Peter


Quote:

Hello Peter,

That's wonderful news my Friend. May he live a life filled with Good Health & Happiness, and may he fill your lives with Joy.

מזל טוב עם הנכד החדש שלך

Phil

Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/23/2010 9:39:48 PM
Hey Phil,
Loved it. Those Dems don't have a clue what's in store for them after November. :)
I think you'll get a kick outta this one.
Shalom,
Peter



Photo on the Nightstand

After a night of making love the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman's nightstand by the bed.





He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks.

'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.
'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.
'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so cute when you're jealous!' she answers.
'Well, who in the heck is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear, 'That's me before the surgery'
Peter Fogel
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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/23/2010 9:46:52 PM
Hi All,
This one's to funny not to share.
Shalom,
Peter

THE OUTHOUSE POEM *

(*note: If you don't know what a Out House is - ask someone a little older)

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
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Phillip Black

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
9/23/2010 9:59:13 PM

Hi Peter,

Now that's Scary!! Back when I was down in New Orleans a few years ago, before Katrina devastated everything, there were a lot of "Trannys" working the Bars along Boubon Street. You had to be real careful exactly who you were taking home at the end of an Evening. Good Friend of mine got a cute little "her" home one Evening and found out, thankfully just in time, that he was almost his "brother's keeper".

Anyway, here's a few more than just came through the email that I thought you all might like...

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
~Conan O'Brien

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. ~Jay Leno

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. ~Jay Leno

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree... and think 25 to life would be appropriate. ~Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. ~Jimmy Kimmel

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America! ~Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. ~David Letterman

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. ~David Letterman

Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them. ~Jimmy Fallon

You know, it's hard to believe President Obama has now been in office for a year. Isn't that amazing? It's a year. And you know, it's incredible. He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster: The Republican party. ~Jay Leno

President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley - all dependents. ~Jay Leno

_______________

Have A Great Weekend,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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