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Peter Fogel

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/29/2010 5:07:20 AM
Hi All,

This one's a bit borderline but I still thought it should be shared.

Shalom,

Peter

Pharmacology:
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.
Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called
Naproxen.

Amoxil
Is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called
Ibuprofen.




The FDA has been
Looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
Consideration by a team of government experts, it recently
Announced that it has settled on the generic name of
Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin,
Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course,
Ibepokin.



Pfizer
Corp. Announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
Liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power
Beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible
For a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we
Can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning
To the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good
Old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new
Concoction by the name of: MOUNT &
DO.



Thought for the day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra
Today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
There should be a large elderly population with perky boobs
And huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to
Do with them.

Peter Fogel
Babylon 7
+0
RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/31/2010 1:19:47 PM

Hello Peter and friends. This is a variation of an oldie but pretty much sums up the situation at the White House. :)

Barak Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent People."

Obama frowns, then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room and says, "Yes, my Queen?"

The Queen smiles and says, "Answer me this please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister ..... Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, "That would be me."

"Yes! Very good," says the Queen.

Obama goes back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice presidential choice the same question "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," says Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one." He goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Newt Gingrich's shoes in the next stall.

Biden asks Gingrich, "Newt, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Newt Gingrich answers back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Biden smiles, and says, "Thanks!"

Then, he goes back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Newt Gingrich!"

Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, "No!, you idiot! . . . It's Tony Blair!"

:)

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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/31/2010 1:21:23 PM

For years, commentators have been saying that the New Orleans Saints were so bad at playing football that hell would freeze over before they would ever win the Super Bowl.

On Sunday, February 7, 2010 the Saints won the Super Bowl.

On that same Sunday, Washington D.C. was paralyzed under several feet of snow and the Federal Government was shut down.


Well, at least we know where hell is.

:)
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
3/31/2010 1:44:27 PM
A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one .... 'Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you." "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too."
:)
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RE: Your Friday Chuckle - Every Day Of The Week
4/2/2010 2:48:58 PM

Happy Friday Peter and friends. These have been around for awhile but still funny. :)

Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?'

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'


-------------------------------

Wife: 'Do you want dinner?'

Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'

Wife: 'Yes or no.'

-------------------------------

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet... Why?'

Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'

Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'

Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'


--------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------

Son: 'Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing..'

Son: 'But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'


------------------------------------------------------------

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

-------------------------------

A wife asked her husband:
'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
'I like your sense of humor!'
-------------------------
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