An elderly man suffered a massive

heart attack. The family drove wildly

to get him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like a very long

wait, the ER Doctor appeared, wearing

his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he

said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but

his heart is still beating."

"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her

hands clasped against her cheeks

with shock! "We've never had a

Democrat in the family before!"

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

He dragged himself onhis elbows and hips through the fog, the rain, the sweat and the mud for hislegs had long since abandoned him since the day that a forgotten personnel minehad left only him half alive on the shores of h*ll. There were only a few remaining feetleft for him to reach the safety of the pavement as a roaring 40 ton lorrymissed him by inches with its fourteen massive thundering wheels as he rolledover in a frantic effort reminiscent of why and how his king and country hadmaintained its freedom and glory.

He had just a finaleffort to undergo before reaching the door of his home when suddenly the dooropened and his wife dropped her gaze upon him and barked “You’ve been to the Pubagain?”

“How do you know?”

“They just phoned tosay you forgot your wheelchair!”