Hello Alain-
I agree with both of your points, when speaking of relationships, in general, and in certain instances. I am also glad to see that you are also courageous, and are willing to discuss your viewpoint.
In general relationships, yes, you may not always need to voice a contrary opinion. However, let us look at a scenario in which that behavior would be expected. Perhaps a couple is having a discussion concerning household finances & the purchase of an expensive item for their home. It would be expected that both parties would have contrary viewpoints, hence the disagreement. One would expect between a cohabitating couple at least a modicum of mutual respect, where each could entertain the other's viewpoint, listening attentively, and waiting for the first to complete their discourse, prior to posing the other's contrary viewpoint. As we know from census statistics & the divorce rates, most couples do not communicate very well at all.
The 6-steps are from the "Respect" module of "Leadership Training-Motivating your Workforce beyond Mediocrity", a course I teach for first-line and middle managers.
In the workplace, when managers are coaching & counseling, typically their viewpoint is not the same as their subordinate staff member. It is very important in these instances for the manager to outline what the employee's deficiency is, what corrective action needs to be implemented, the time frame allowed for implementing the corrective action and the consequence for failure to take the corrective measures. It is also important for the manager to listen to the employee's input, thereby enabling the manager to develop a corrective action plan that will enable the employee's success. Hence, the manager will almost always need to respond, and typically, the manager's viewpoint will be contrary to that of the emplloyee being coached or counseled.
It is the ability to have & voice the contrary viewpoint or opinion, in a non-threatening manner, with courtesy and diplomacy that will earn respect. Voicing agreement when one disagrees or displaying apathy concerning a topic that truly matters to someone is dishonest, and can cause a perception that you do not respect yourself, nor the person you are communicationg with.
It takes a skilled communicator to know when to listen and when to speak, and though I have met many great communicators in this life, none are perfect, perfection is a goal that is unattainable, yet we continue to strive for it. This is part of what makes us human, members of mankind.
Learning is a life-long process... and I will forever be a student while I walk this planet! And I thank the many people who pass through my life, for I gain something new from every one of them. I celebrate the opportunity to face each new day with joy in my heart, with the promises of better things yet to come....
Thank you for the opportuniity to stretch my brain cells and my heart on this Sunday afternoon.... I am enjoying this forum more than you could imagine....
Hugs always,
JeanMarie