Dear Friends,
I have one request, my posts to Peter is posted here purely for my benefit of owning up to the harsh things I said to him. Please take it in the context it is meant. For this I shall be eternally grateful toyou.
Thank you for being my friend.
hugz n blessings always
Pauline
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Peter,
I have been battling with the urge to do this for quite some
time now, but today is when I have finally worked it out in my mind and heart
to come thru with it.
What I put forth here is something that does not make me
feel proud I did. I let satan in for a minute and he played havoc with my
emotions. Never again…I have promised myself !
Peter ironically our conversation did start with me sharing
with you this post on ‘forgiveness’ but it went on to anything but that.
Forgive
11/24/2008
We must forgive those who hurt
us. The reason is simple: Bitterness and unforgiveness are claws that
set their hooks deep in our hearts; they are chains that keep us held
captive to the wounds and the messages of those wounds. Until you
forgive, you remain their prisoner. Paul warns us that unforgiveness
and bitterness can wreck our lives and the lives of others (Eph. 4:31;
Heb. 12:15). We have to let them go.
Forgive as Christ has forgiven you. (Col 3:13)
Now – listen carefully. Forgiveness is a choice.
It is not a feeling – don't try and feel forgiving. It is an act of the
will. "Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving," wrote Neil
Anderson. "You will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after
the choice to forgive is made . . ." We allow God to bring the hurt up
from our past, for "if your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional
core of your life, it will be incomplete." We acknowledge that it hurt,
that it mattered, and we choose to extend forgiveness to our father,
our mother, those who hurt us. This is not saying, "It didn't
really matter"; it is not saying, "I probably deserved part of it
anyway." Forgiveness says, "It was wrong. Very wrong. It mattered, hurt
me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God."
It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply
wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were
young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in
his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the
things they did. It just helps us to let them go – to realize that they
were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war
against femininity.
(Captivating, 102-103)
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here are some of my posts to you which I am EXTREMELY SORRY I had to write to you in
response to your numerous allegations of fixing the bfa, of who the judges
were, of bribery etc;I had to forward your letters to Bogdan to let him know first hand of what I was being accused of, and for him to make an accurate judgement.
FOR THIS I ASK FORGIVENESS.
You
are so off the mark !!! I have sent the score sheets to Bogdan, and if he
thinks I have fixed this...then I will be the first to go from the BFA I have
Joe as my witness to. So you are free to draw your own conclusion.I am glad we
are friends no more, friends do not think the lowest of one you call friend. I
too thought of you too highly I guess, but I was wrong absolutely wrong.
Because of how quick you are to assume things so degrading of me. THANK YOU for
giving me this certificate. GOD IS MY JUDGE !!! I believe I will live to see
the result of all of this before my very eyes. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL TO
MY HEARTS CRY, AND RIGHT NOW ITS CRYING OUT TO HIM TO BRING JUSTICE TO ME, and
I know he will. VERY SOON!!
That is all I have to say.
God bless You Peter
Pauline
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On Wed,
Dec 10, 2008 at 8:20 AM, Pauline Raina <sybella53@yahoo.com>
wrote:
You know
what Peter,
I am not
interested in knowing what you do or think. About your ‘what if’ of posting
stuff in the open...believe me I would do it myself with out any fear. But if I
choose not to is for reasons that you & I will not see eye to eye. So I am
not going to bother to elaborate. You are free indeed to draw up your own
conclusions as always.
I am
sorry the way things have turned out it gives me no joy. But if this is the way
it is ...it is. Think of me the lowest as you wish be my guest !! Life still
goes on and I will live it one day at a time.
Some day
I pray God will reveal to you how wrong you were about me. That is all I have
to say in my defense. This will be my last post to you & I will appreciate
you do the same.
Be happy
with your thoughts...goodbye!
Pauline
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I let the untruth of it get to me and responded in haste and
emotionally. Which proved very contrary to my heart and who I am. But I am not
ashamed to say I AM SORRY. I must also be honest and say that all the tirade of
accusations did and have hurt me more than words can say. I would lie if I say it still doesn’t hurt.
But I know with time it will go away. The first step has been taken in that
direction and I am glad I’ve done this.
I do not from
henceforth hold any grudge against you or any other friends who have spoken in
support of you and against me. I say SORRY
to Lilly, Branka, Vladmir, Geketa and anyone else whom I might have hurt
in the process of hurting you. I do this for myself, not because of the season, or any
other reason, its purely to unburden my heart of the guilt that it has felt
ever since I wrote those words to you. Because as you rightly said it is
contrary Me.
I have resolved never again to let emotion push my buttons.
Silence is better, far better as I usually practice. But for some reason this
time was different, cant remember the last time I did this,Thats how long ago it was.
With that said, I pray we can move on, and put the past
behind us.
God Bless you all
Pauline