Hey John,

I've never been downunder (yet) but had many Aussie  friends when I was living in South Africa. Will get to your part of the world one of these days.

Poor Gaby. you needed the "9 Words Woman Use" and spent 294 additional words explaining them when it can all be explained in one simple term (+). What a wasted effort.

PMS

Now dear Gaby and Gerri, as you well know after many years the PMS cycle is "replaced" by another short term; namely:

CHANGE OF LIFE

Now this can go on for ever and is once again replaced by another short term but by then you won't remember what it is in any case. Yes, COL can be treated by hormones but the whiskers become problematic then (Gerri might have a natural remedy for it).

So, PMS & COL cover the 9 words well and so much more.

As a point of interest. Do you know what the definition of PMS is?????

 MCD

MAD COW'S DISEASE

 

I hope the graphic shows up.

Shalom,

Peter

 

 

Dear Meshugenah Peter,


Not nice, this is my only response to your last post. 
I am considering enlisting some help from Meshugenah terrorists to help deal with you.

and be honest 



Dear John,
More homework for you....

Australian Redneck Etiquette

 

    * Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

    * Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

    * It's tacky to take an esky to church.

    * If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

    * Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.

 

Dinning Out

 

    * When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

    * If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

 

Entertaining in your home

 

    * A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

    * Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

 

Personal Hygiene

 

    * 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using ones OWN ute keys.

    * 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

    * 3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

    * 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your Jewelry.

 

Dating

 

    * Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

    * Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years ago."

 

Theatre

 

    * Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.

    * Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

 

Weddings

 

    * Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

    * Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place).

    * For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

    * Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

 

Driving

 

    * Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the possum's in your rifle sight.

    * When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest bull bar doesn't always have the right of way.

    * Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

    * When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

Hi Gaby, I am sure you agree with me............

Have a great weekend, Cheers Gerri

Hi Gaby

I'm aware of the female psyche, don't forget I've suffered 34 years of penal servitude marriage!

Hi Gerri

Well done, but I hope you used 'cut and paste'.

Hey Peter

Those women don't know when they're beaten...