Hello Sara and Friends,

I have refrained from posting in many places because in doing so someone may find my words insulting.  Even though insults were not the intention of expressing my opinions and my dismay at the "Peyton Place" hypocrisy that seems to follow certain members of this community of friends.

A true friend is someone you can be yourself without worry that they become insulted.  Or never need to say the words "I am sorry" for having an opposing view or observation.  A real friend accepts you for what you are and not what they think you should be.  I seldom try to live my life according to someone else's expectations.  Doing so would not be representing the real me.

If something I say offends you, then perhaps the offense is yours and not mine, because I have caused you to look at yourself in a different way, and you did not like what you saw in that moment of introspect.  Hence my favorite saying: " If the shoe fits, it must be yours.  Wear it or get a new pair."

Vindictiveness, ignorance and self righteousness are all traits, that we all have at times.  Learning to forgive one's self is probably the hardest thing to do, but something that should be practiced more often, as it shows you are growing.  It is those that fail to forgive themselves, that raise the most ruckus and are truly uncomfortable with themselves. 

So they seek comfort from others by playing the victim of their own Vindictiveness, ignorance and self righteousness.  Very shameful, self-serving and shows that, that person is not evolving as they feel others should.

Instead they take to whispering about others, or making statements, safe in knowing that those they are casting aspersions to, will be unable to reply, because the whisperers have them banned or blocked. 

Which is okay in their own little minds, but will never solve the challenge or allow them to grow whole.  It only serves to embolden them, and their confidants, but will never resolve the situation or disagreement.  Definitely not a friendly situation, for those of us on the receiving end of these character assassinations. 

But I have no problems with my character and seldom allow these minor situations upset me personally.  I keep moving forward, growing and gaining knowledge, with or without those that are not yet at my level.

Censorship never serves anyone but the censor.

Respectfully,

Jim Allen III

Hello Peter,

Oh Brother another stir of the Bonnet here I must say.

Heres something I posted in another forum that might fit some one or some where.

That is why I just do not hang out here that much any more its way to Drama for me and if I did hang out here more I am sure some where I would be entering the lions den.lol lol

Hello my friends,



Managing Conflict

Of all the issues that people tend to avoid, managing conflict ranks at the top of the list, along with public speaking and swimming with sharks.

Most people see conflict as indicative of a problem.

Disagreement feels uncomfortable and threatening.

When there's no open conflict we can carry on as though things are all right even if, really, we know they aren't.

If you ask people what the purpose of conflict is you'll get all variety of answers:

To get your point of view across
To win
To gain power
To let other people know they're wrong
To fight for autonomy.

Let's face it, most conflict is about winning and losing - getting your way at the expense of someone else.

On the other hand, if you're someone who really hates conflict, you might even say that it isn't really necessary because it causes more upset and problems than it solves.

However, there is one main reason to engage in conflict, and that's to reach a resolution.

Without resolution, conflict merely becomes an opportunity to recycle old arguments, disagreements and opinions: nothing moves forward, feelings get stirred up and reinforced.

Managing Conflict can actually be exciting and rewarding.

It can be a chance to get to the heart of a problem, rather than only focusing on the surface or obvious issues.

Most conflicts have core causes and once those are addressed, conflict becomes an option to choose rather than run away from.


Many blessings,

Kathy Hamilton/simikathy