I will warn the Pro-Obamians, this thread may offend you. If so, then just don't come in.
Just a few Obama Jokes I've gotten through emails. I thought were rather cute and FUNNY!!
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BARRACK OBAMA HAS CHOSEN HIS RUNNING MATE. IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE HAS SELECTED SYLVESTER STALLONE AS HIS CHOICE FOR VICE PRESIDENT.
THEY WILL RUN AS "SAMBO AND RAMBO.
ALSO, I HEARD THAT NANCY PEOLOSI IS GOING TO BE SECRETARY OF STATE, SO IT WILL BE SAMBO, RAMBO, AND BIMBO!!
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After a careful review of the options for the up-coming election:
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE IS MY
PLATFORM:
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'WalMart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour.) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out. Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful
completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you will be banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capital Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.
(9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil. And the wheat is the better deal when your hungry.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the
national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after a prayer to
God.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriatemceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. (If you are in uniform you will stand at attention and salute. If you are not in uniform you will place you hand over your heart!)Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote
for me will get you better than what you have and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for your support!!