Drafting
Guys over 60
This one is really
worth considering
This is so funny and
obviously written by a Former Soldier.
NEW DIRECTION FOR ANY
WAR
Send Service Vets over 60!
I’m over 60 and the
Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You
can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got
the whole thing
bass-ackwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to
take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until
you're at least 55.
Researchers say
18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex
a couple of times a week, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds
per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't
lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
dangerous
soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep! I'm tired and
hungry! We
are
impatient and maybe
letting us shoot some a-hole that desperately deserves
it
will make us feel
better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old
doesn't even like to get up before noon. Old
guys always get
up
early to take a
whizz, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, “I'm tired
and can't sleep
and since I'm already
up, I may as well be up shooting at some fanatical
son-of-a-beeatch.”
If captured we
couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put
them.
In fact, name, rank
and serial number would be a real shucking brainteaser.
Boot camp would be
easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and
yelled at and we're
used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation
for
guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the
house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up
on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and have never seen a
single 20-foot wall with plucking rope hanging over
the side, nor did I
ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running
part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone out run a
bullet.
An 18-year-old has
the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, grow hair on
his chest and learn to start up a conversation with a
pretty girl. He still
hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not
the back of his head.
These are all great
reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before
sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track
down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last
thing
an enemy would want
to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with
shucking attitudes
and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them.
If nothing else, put
us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!
Share this with your
senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can
read it.