Hello St Nick and Friends

    May I suggest that we start having services at,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,the supermarket.

Sincerely, Billdaddy

LOL NICK!!  I love the cat eating corn! 

And the newlyweds and the trailer...that's every father of the bride's nightmare,

...or every hillbilly father of the groom's dream come true..."Whynchu go knock up a gal who's pa has more money'n we do? (9 months later...)Good boy!"

Hi Nick,

Thanks my Friend.  After the past week, I really needed a Good Laugh.  Not only did I have a Good Laugh, I even managed a Guffaw or two.

As I'm sure you know, I always seem to have a few little ticklers hanging around, so here goes...

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.

Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"

Grandpa replies, "Nope."

Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"

Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."

Speaking of Abstinence, it can be really hard on a fellow sometimes, as the following points out...

In our Church, during the Lenten season, the 40 days beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending on Easter Morning, we generally abstain from one of life's particular pleasures, such as Meat, Chocolate, Caffeine, etc., for the entire 40-day period.  One young Couple, Newlyweds, who had only been married for three months and who wanted to show their true Devotion to the Lord, chose to abstain from Sex. 

As the young man, Billy, related the story to us during the Weekly Breakfast following Easter Sunday, they had a terrible time maintaining their Pledge of Abstinence.  It seems that the first week went fairly smoothly, however, by the second week, they had taken to Billy sleeping on top of the sheets, while Cindy, his young wife, slept under the sheets.  By the third week, it was obvious that even more drastic measures were needed.  For the rest of the time, they agreed that Cindy would lock herself in the main Bedroom before Billy arrived home from work each evening, and that she would not come out until Billy had left for work the next day.  Although they dreaded being separated from one another, they both agreed that in order to maintain their Abstinence, that this was the only solution. 

As you would well imagine, at the first hint of Sunrise on Easter morning, Cindy heard a tap, tap, tap on the Bedroom door.  As she wiped the sleep from her eyes, the gentle tapping became a persistent knocking.  In her sweetest, sexiest voice, Cindy called out, "I bet I know what you're knocking for!".  Immediately, and somewhat more desperately, Billy replied, "Yes, but I just bet that you don't know what I'm knocking with!". 

The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

The personnel office sent this reply:

"Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."

Have A Happy Weekend,

Phil