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Nick Sym

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Safe Sex
8/1/2008 2:48:33 AM




Abstain remover

Three couples—one elderly, one middle-aged, one young and newly wed—apply for membership in a church. The pastor informs them that the requirement for new parishioners is that they abstain from sex for two weeks. The couples agree and go their separate ways.


After two weeks, they return. The pastor asks the elderly pair if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "No problem at all, Pastor," replies the old man.


"Congratulations!" says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He turns to the middle-aged couple and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks. "It was difficult," replies the husband. "By the end of the second week, I had to sleep on the couch, but we did it."


"Congratulations on overcoming temptation," says the pastor. "Welcome to the church." He then turns to the newlyweds and asks if they were able to abstain for two weeks.


"At first it was no problem," says the husband. "But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf, and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."


"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," says the pastor.

"We know," says the young man. "We’re not welcome at the supermarket anymore either."



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Heidi Stern

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Re: Safe Sex
8/1/2008 3:53:28 AM

HEHEHEHE

HAHAHAHA

Heidi Stern ~ Your Friend in Wellness
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Peter Fogel

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Re: Safe Sex
8/1/2008 4:19:49 AM

Hey Nick,

Do you think the minister will rethink and change the acceptance rules for his church???? :) ;)

Shalom,

Peter 

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Geketa Holman

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Re: Safe Sex
8/1/2008 8:21:19 AM
Hi Nicky,

You are such a card ! HEHEHEHE

I agree with Peter , I think the preacher should change his admittance rules !

Blessings,

Geketa

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Beverly Kersey

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Re: Safe Sex
8/1/2008 11:24:22 AM

OK my sweet Nick:

My vote is in on you! You are the number one funniest person I have had the honor of meeting. I have decided that you should be on Last Comic Standing. I believe you could win it hands down!!

Here's one for you and it is a true story!

My oldest grandson has grown up without a dad in his life. So therefore, he has always come to me for any questions he might have. About three years ago when he was 14, he asked me the topper of all questions while we were driving to my home to spend the weekend with Jim and me.

"Grammy is it a send to masturbate"?

I almost choked on my coke?

I thought this is very serious, whatever you do don't let him know your rattled or laugh!!

"Well Justin", I said. "In the Bible it says that it is better for a man to spill his seed upon the ground, than to sleep with a woman out of wedlock. So I guess the answer is No".

Justin thought for a minute and then said: "Thank God"

He has a girlfriend now and I am praying he still remembers this talk!!

 Love Boat 

Beverly Kersey
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