Hello Nick :-)
Very importans topic - or even issue?! - put up in a funny way?!
I never knew there was or better say IS a
DAY for DRIVE-THRU?!
Here is a friendly DRIVE-THRU sharing between friends:
DRIVE-THRU ETIQUETTE
(a bit long but it might come on handy)
1. YOUR CAR MUST WORK.
The first word in "drive-thru" is "drive", therefore your car must have
the ability to move forward. I think everybody understands that this is
a completely non-negotiable must-have element. After all, you can't
drive thru if you can't drive. However, almost as important as a fully
functional transmission is a fully functional driver's side window. If
you can not roll down your window and you have to pull past the speaker
or window, open your door and lean halfway out of your car to complete
a transaction, you and your car are ineligible for drive-thru status.
2. ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL.
A fast food restaurant's drive-thru operation is a scientifically
engineered precision instrument. Typically, it's designed to have one
car at the order speaker, a certain number of cars waiting to pay (this
number can vary), one car at the pay window, one car waiting to pick up
(although this is optional) and one car picking up their food, all
stacked neatly bumper to bumper with no wasted space between. This
should result in vehicles moving rapidly through the mechanism at
roughly 30 second intervals, functioning like the gears in an expensive
Swiss watch. That is, until somebody hauling a trailer shows up and
gums up the whole works. Now the
trailer with all their equipment is occupying the space in front of the
speaker box. Now the employee inside on the headset is pleading with a
weedwacker to please place it's order. The weedwacker is indifferent to
these pleas and sits silently. The employee eventually gives up,
figuring there is nobody in line and decides to take the opportunity to
go outside and grab a smoke, leaving the poor slob behind the lawn
service with nobody to talk to when it's his turn to order.Similar
chaos ensues as the truck and trailer make their way through the
system, reeking similar havoc at every step along the way. You wouldn't
just drop some big, stupid gear with a Dixie Chopper, three weedwackers
and a mulcher on it into a Patek Phillippe watch and expect it to work,
would you? Of course not. Listen, if you're out in the hot sun mowing
lawns and trimming trees all day, go ahead and park your enormous truck
and trailer at the Staples next door and come inside and enjoy a meal
in air-conditioned comfort. You deserve it, my day-laboring friends!
3. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU GET THERE.
This is not too much to ask. You must have had some sort of idea what
you wanted when you made the conscious decision to pull in, right? Odds
are you drove past at least half a dozen other fast food restaurants to
get to this one. Even better odds are that you've been here before. So
just order already!
But if you really are perplexed for some reason
and honestly don't know what to order, just get the #1. It's the best
thing they have. That's why they designated it #1. At McDonalds, it's
the Big Mac with fries and a drink. At Burger King, it's the Whopper.
At Taco Bell, it's some combination of meat, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes
inside something allegedly made from corn. At any rate, you can never
go wrong with #1.
4. HAVE IT YOUR WAY, AS LONG AS YOUR WAY IS THE WAY IT COMES WITHOUT SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS.
We don't have time for you to specify extra pickles, no onions, mustard
only on the left edge of the top bun, mayo applied in counterclockwise
strokes and free range lettuce. Just order the #1 with the standard,
default settings and let us all get on with our lives, please.
5. ONE VEHICLE, ONE ORDER.
You know what happens when the people at work decide I should go pick
up lunch for everyone? They all look over the menus from a variety of
restaurants, write up their specific orders, detailing exactly which
restaurants they want it from, what they want and how they want it
prepared. Then they give me their money, some giving me exact change or
close to it, others giving me a big bill because "sorry, it's all I
have". I smile and tell them I'll be right back. When I return, it's
with a big bag of hamburgers (Cheeseburgers? Not a chance) from
McDonald's and no change. Dig in, assholes! You know how often they
make me go get lunch? Not very. there's a lesson to be learned here,
people.
6. ONE DRIVER, ONE ORDER-ER. When going out
with the gang, assign the most competent and responsible person among
you to drive. Because the person driving the car needs to be the one
placing the order on behalf of everyone in it, including rendering
payment. The drive-thru is no place for expressing your individuality
or a staff meeting of any kind. Got it? No separate orders (see above),
no complex financial transactions and no yelling from the backseat or
anywhere else in the vehicle. Nobody cares about what you have to say
about anything unless you have a steering wheel in front of you. For
this reason, if you get kidnapped and are screaming for help from the
trunk of a car, you'd better hope the kidnapper doesn't pull over for a
Whopper on his way back to his lair.
7. FAST FOOD WORKERS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU ARE.
In spite of popularly held belief, the people working the drive-thru
are not slow-witted, marble-mouthed, surly, unskilled lowlifes who
would otherwise be unemployable if not for the fast food industry.
Quite the contrary, these are special people with an elite skill set
chosen to a higher calling than you could ever possibly comprehend:
They prepare meals for you while you sit in your car!. When you ask for
a Big Mac, fries and a Coke (or simply the #1) and get a tossed salad
with a bottled water instead (or vice versa), it's not because they
made a mistake. It's because they know something you don't and are
trying to help you. So don't sit there and do an inventory of your
order before leaving the window. Just take it, move on and take comfort
in the knowledge that whatever is in there, it was put there by
somebody who is looking out for your best interests. Like me.
With friendship,
Anamaria :-)