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Dave Cottrell

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RE: PUNOGRAPHY
4/12/2013 4:44:26 AM
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Dave Cottrell

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RE: PUNOGRAPHY
4/12/2013 5:07:26 AM
HAHAHAHAHA!

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Dave Cottrell

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RE: PUNOGRAPHY
4/12/2013 5:16:58 AM
Baked Potatoe


I think this is the best image pun I have ever seen...
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RE: PUNOGRAPHY
6/2/2013 9:56:36 PM
This is one of my all time favorite puns. It's actually won a couple of puntests for me...

There was once a scientist working on a formula to make people live forever. He had reached the stage where he was testing his latest concoction on some dolphins he kept in a pool in the back of his lab. He had reached the conclusion that his formula was working. His dolphins were not aging.

But to accomplish this he needed to feed each dolphin a special diet made from seagulls aged 13 to 19, and that the dolphins must be fed at exactly 1:15pm each day. Because they birds needed to be fresh he had to catch them on the beach between 11am and noon

It just happened that as he was about to head back from the beach after gathering a few seagulls, a parade for the state fair was passing on the road between him and his lab.

He scanned left and right and quickly calculated that by running up a dune he could gain enough lift to clear the parade and land safely on the other side of the road.

He moved back close to the waters edge to gain maximum speed. He ran as fast as he could up the dune and leapt across the road. As he looked down he noted the lion’s cage beneath him as the lion roared up at him.

He landed safely on the other side only to be immediately arrested by the state police. When he asked what the charge was…

The officer replied…

Transporting teenaged gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises.


David Weed President,
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RE: PUNOGRAPHY
6/3/2013 11:53:37 AM

Puns for educated minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

14. A backward poet writes inverse.

15. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .

17. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

David Weed President,
+2


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