Poor Parrot
A lady who was very lonesome bought a parrot from a pet store, complete with cage. Before purchasing it she got a guarantee that the parrot would talk. She took the parrot home. However, after a week and a half she returned to the store, very disappointed.
"The parrot still doesn't talk.", the Customer said.
"Did you buy a mirror?", asked the Clerk
"No." the Customer replied.
"Well, every parrot needs a mirror." said the Clerk.
"So she bought a mirror and installed it in the parrot's cage. Another week and a half went by and she returned. "The parrot still doesn't talk."
"Did you buy a ladder?" the Clerk asked
"No." replied the Customer.
"Every parrot needs a ladder", the Clerk told her.
"So she bought a ladder and installed it in the cage. Another week and a half passed and she returned. "The parrot still doesn't talk." she said
"Did you buy a swing?", ashed the Clerk.
"No." she answered.
"Every parrot needs a swing."said the Clerk.
So she bought a swing and installed it in the cage. Finally, after a week and a half later she returned and she was furious!
The store owner asked, "Well, did the parrot talk?"
"No!, he died." said the Customer.
"Oh, that's terrible, said the Clerk. "Did he say anything before he died?"
"Yes", she replied.
"What?" asked the Store Clerk.
"He gasped, 'Don't they have any food down at that store?'"![](http://www.funnyhumor.com/viewcount.php?type=joke&id=40&s=)
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Foul-Mouthed Parrot
Ben had received a parrot for his birthday. It was full grown and, although very beautiful, it had a nasty attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every other word that came out of the parrot's mouth was an expletive and those that weren't were, to put it mildly, downright rude. Ben tried diligently to change the bird's attitude. He always used polite words, played soft music, did anything he could think of, but nothing seemed to work.
He yelled at the bird, but the bird got worse. He shook the bird, but that only made him worse too. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he shoved a frozen Turkey aside and put the parrot in the freezer.
For a few moments he was able to hear the bird squawking, swearing, kicking and
screaming. Then, suddenly, there was absolute quiet.
Afraid that he had actually caused harm to the parrot, Ben quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto Ben's extended arm and said, "I deeply apologize if I offended you with my language and my actions and beg your forgiveness. I promise that I shall endeavor to correct my behavior."
Astounded by the changes in the bird's attitude, Ben was just about to ask him what had changed him when the parrot continued ...
"If I may ask, what did the chicken do?"
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![](http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg240/LaGambler4/Fourth%20Of%20July/0151.gif)
Have A Fun Fourth My Friend,
Phil