It's Great to hear from you both. Thanks of dropping by and thanks for sharing the cute video and the wonderful kitty comments. Here's a few more that I hope you all might like...

A Natural Born Salesman

A man walked into an insurance office and asked for a job. "We don't need anyone," the manager replied.

"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime anything."

"We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell to. If you can sell just one, you have a job."

He was gone for about two hours and returned and handed the manager two checks, one for an $80,000 policy and another for a $50,000 policy. "How in the world did you do that?" the manager asked.

"I told you I'm the world's best salesman. I can sell anyone anytime anything."

"Did you get a urine sample?" the manager asked him.

"Why's that?" he asked.

"Well, if you sell a policy over $40,000, the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

He was gone for about eight hours and then he walked in withtwo 5-gallon buckets, one in each hand. He set the buckets down and reached in his shirt pocket, producing two bottles of urine. After setting them on the desk, he said, "Here's Mr. Brown's, and this one is Mr. Smith's."

"That's good," the manager said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention. I sold them a group policy!"

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The Lost Paper

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown, say, "That's not it," and put it down again. This went on for some time until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.

The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked up his new Discharge paper, smiled, and said, "Yep, that's it."

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The Wife's Marinade

One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked.

His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. However, eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, "What did you ask me?"

She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!"

As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?"

Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."

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The Second Act

A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he needed to use the restroom in the worst way, so he hurried to find the men's room.

He searched in vain for the bathrooms, but he finally found a beautiful fountain with foliage. Since nobody was watching and his need was becoming more urgent, he decided to relieve himself right there.

When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked.

"Miss it?" she said indignantly. "You were in it!"

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And finally,

Nice Work If You Can Get It!

The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.

"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.

"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.

Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said, "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!"

Turning to one of the supervisors, he said, "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"

"Oh, he's not an employee," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"

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Have A Bright & Beautiful Week,

Phil

Hello Friends,

Here's a few chuckles that I thought you might enjoy...

Almost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionaire. I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remember where I live."

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Redneck Lunch

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a redneck were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off, too."

The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping, too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped too. The redneck
opened his lunch, saw the bologna, and jumped to his death also.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the redneck's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch!"

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Mother Of Six

Joe was proud of his family of six children. He frequently referred to his wife as "Mother of Six," much to her annoyance. Finally, she cured him of his habit. At the end of a big party, Joe called out loud enough for everyone to hear: "Ready to go, Mother of Six?"

"Any time you are," she replied, "Father of Four."

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Have A Great Weekend,

Phil

Hello My Friends,

Here's a few Chuckles that I thought you all might like.

In The Spirit

A Baptist preacher went to visit a member of the community and invited him to come to church Sunday morning.

It seems that this man was a producer of fine peach brandy. He told the preacher that he would attend his church IF the pastor would drink some of his brandy and admit doing so in
front of his congregation. The preacher agreed and drank up.

Sunday morning, the man visited the church. The preacher recognized the man from the pulpit and said, "I see Mr. Johnson is here with us this morning. I want to thank him
publicly for his hospitality this week and especially for the peaches he gave me and the spirit in which they were given."

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It's Confusing

My mother was was holding on to a pole while riding a bus. She noticed that a young man, who was holding on to the same pole, was staring at her. Eventually he said, "Excuse me.
This is my stop."

Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead."

"And this is my pole," he said.

My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."

And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.

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Groaner Of The Day

Q: What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

A: Sir Render.

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The Joys Of Retirement

How many days in a week?
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

When is a retiree's bedtime?
3 hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
It comes with a 10% discount!

Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Tied shoes.

How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Only one, bit it may take all day.

What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
NUTS!

What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal.

What is the best way to describe retirement?
The never-ending coffee break.

Who do retirees count pennies?
They're the only ones who have the time!

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And finally,

The Preacher's Boy

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting high time the boy gave some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bible,

2. A silver dollar,

3. A bottle of whiskey,

4. And a Playboy magazine.

"I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a
preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine, he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room, he spotted the objects on the table. He walked over to inspect them, looking at each for several minutes. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

"Lord have mercy!" the old preacher prayed.

"My Boy's going into politics!!"

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Have A Happy Week,

Phil

Hello Friends,

Coming home after Services this morning, it occured to me that I've haven't shared a Smile with my Friends in a while, so here's a few that I hoped that you might like.

A Very Religious Husband

When the Husband came home one Evening from the Men's Club Meeting at his Church, he suddenly picked up his Wife, hugged her tightly and carried her all around the house.

Smiling, his Wife said to him, "Honey, did the Preacher talk to you about being more romantic to me here at home?"

The Husband replied, "No, but he did remind us that as strong Christian men, we must each carry our own Burden's & Sorrows."

Things That You'll Probably Never Hear Said In Church

Hey! It's MY turn to sit on the front pew!

I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went over time 25 minutes.

Personally, I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.

I've decided to give our church the $500.00 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.

I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.

Forget the denominational minimum salary: let's pay our pastor so he can live like we do.

I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!

Since we're all here, let's start the worship service early!

Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.

Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Funny Things Overheard In Sunday School

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was driving,' he announced triumphantly, 'and she turned into a telephone pole!'

GOOD SAMARITAN

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?'

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'

DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?'

'No,' replied Johnny. 'How could he, with just two worms?'

HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times, but there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?'

One child blurted out, 'Aces!'

MOSES AND THE RED SEA

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.

'Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt . When he got to the Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.'

'Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?' his mother asked.

'Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!'

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, 'The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know.'

BEING THANKFUL

A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, 'Your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?'

The little boy replied, 'Thank God he's in bed!'

UNANSWERED PRAYER

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why.

'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.'

'So, how come He doesn't?' she asked.

UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER

During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews.

Tommy's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, 'Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?'

Tommy answered soberly, 'I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!'

TIME TO PRAY

A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.

'Yes, sir.' the boy replied..

'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked..

'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

EQUAL REPRESENTATION

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every pet, current and past.

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, 'All girls.' This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?'

Her response, 'Because everybody always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'

SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

'Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.' said his mother.

'I don't need to,' the boy replied.

'Of course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer before eating at our house.'

'That's at our house.' Johnny explained . . . 'But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.

And finally, our Groaner for Today...

The Preacher and the Ghost

There was a new preacher who wanted to rent a house in the country. The only house available was rumored to be haunted. Since the preacher didn't believe in such things, he rented it.

It wasn't long before the ghost made its appearance. The preacher told his friends about the ghost, but they didn't believe him. They told him the only way they would believe was if he would take a picture of the ghost.

The preacher went home and called for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher explained the situation and asked the ghost if it would mind having its picture taken. The ghost agreed.

When the picture was developed, the ghost wasn't visible. Feeling very disappointed, the preacher called again for the ghost. When it appeared, the preacher showed it the picture and wanted to know why the ghost wasn't in it.

Folks, you all ready for this?

The ghost thought a minute and replied, "Well, I guess the spirit was willing, but the flash was weak."