I am reading this Alain after the whole Farrah Fawcett thing; after the movie, watching videos on the web; interviews etc., and something sparked my attention about your words and something Farrah said. She said she was holding onto a hope that there's some reason for the cancer that may show up in something she will do etc. Then I saw your words about being driven to find your soul's purpose in life, and I certainly can relate to these words, and I do believe that many or most people are concerned or interested in the reasons, the purposes of their life, and certainly at a time when the end is more in sight, and age alone does tend to ever draw our focus both toward thoughts of our life's end and toward the more intrinsic aspects of this life, and I am sure you will agree. It is for sure that many feel a hesitancy about both exposing the deeper sides of their real or interior self to others and also often even to their own self! Michael here said the very same thing, that he was hesitant. I was very delighted though to read his words and yours also and also that Kathleen could open up and share some things that trouble her. We are all people and really do have alot of things in common, such as this hesitancy to have ourselves or put ourselves under visible bright lights. I gathered a long time ago as a young girl that in ways like this I was no different than anyone else, so that if people looked strangely at me I would be looking right back knowing they were just as human as me. Now as I learn more I discover that coming out into the light or exposing who we really are can actually be quite therapeutic in many good ways for people, providing the environment has that certain unconditional acceptance and basic love which is like a rich growing ground that actually can cause the "real" person to bloom, and things like a person's potentials and hidden talents and giftedness, which I think are more plentiful than are always being noticed by anyone including the person themself. I also think people actually enjoy connecting with their "real" self because so often we try to live an "ideal" that not only isn't all truly us but also that divides us from our real self. We find good reasons to do this in ourself and from the world and people around us, and I guess my ulterior motive is that people know that it's really ok to recognize who we are and it's even ok to have weaknesses and things we might not like so much. I imagine until we really do consciously investigate ourselves and then ask some questions as to why I do this or that and why I think or feel this way or why I pursue thus and so, that we just go with the leadings of reasons we don't understand, and then how can we navigate the ways we might best grow, and how can we work on overcoming things that we aren't even conscious of, and then are we even conscious of what we might be hoping to accomplish when the seasons come that cause us to contemplate the deeper meanings or values or reasons of our life. All through your words you are talking about finding the real you and your life meaning and purpose, and I'm not sure but that may be something that sometimes makes you feel different. I find so much that people don't want to go there, but either prefer or feel more comfortable talking about the things of life rather than life itself. And I'm not saying here, but am thinking about the world around me here. But then I imagine that you might find different mindsets in different settings. No doubt, just as there are the poor and the working class and the rich in this world there are also different mindsets and perspectives people have about life. Still yet the later years do often cause people to look more intrinsicly at their life, and having been around very many dying people, I have seen first hand that it usually does come down to some very narrow and basic issues toward the end, which must tell us something! One thing it tells me is that we spend alot of years looking after more external things and then when our time narrows in our focus turns very quickly toward the very raw issues of life itself. So as even some of the motivational speakers have encouraged, perhaps we ought to first get a vision for the end of our life and then go backwards from there, "If" we have a desire to accomplish something in particular. I gotta say this...to accomplish worldly wealth as a major priority, as so many are seeking and even as many "Christian" preachers are advocating in these modern times, doubtfully will be high on our list of intrinsic values at the end. (I hope I don't get beat over the head for that, ha ha!) Because honestly I have had it as much as anyone else with struggling in life, so that I have a plan, but still, worldly wealth I know would never be nearly enough, ever, there must be something much more that this life is about and that is worth finding and knowing and possessing when the time comes that this will matter more than anything. Your search is something like this isn't it Alain? The question now is, are you still searching or have you found exactly what you have been seeking? That seems like an obvious question, ha ha! Ok, enough of my rambling for now. I do respect and enjoy "all" that you all shared about yourself; I do find a real interest in people and always have found an interest in me and other people finding what we are really really looking for, and often not even consciously. That's the interesting part. Sincerely, Kim