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Phillip Black

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Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
11/30/2008 8:57:28 PM

Hi Mary,

Glad you liked it.  Here's one more you might enjoy...

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it! 

Get out of the car you scumbags!"
 The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.

The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.
(True story!)

Keep Smilin' - Drives 'Em Crazy

Phil


“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
11/30/2008 9:09:36 PM
Hello Mary,

So good to see you again, like Phil I really missed you, you always make me smile.


 Smelling and Hearing

An elderly woman goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, it's terrible,
I pass gas all the time. Fortunately,
it's odorless and silent, otherwise I'd be mortified. For example,
I've passed gas ten times just since we've been talking, but it's
odorless and silent so you can't tell." The doctor gives her some
green pills and tells her to take one a day and come back in a week.

The woman comes back after taking the pills for a week. She says,
"Doc, there's been a change but not for the better. I still pass gas
all the time, but while it's still silent, now it smells terrible!"

The doctor says, "Well, I'm glad we cleared up your sinus blockage.
Now we'll have to work on your hearing."

God Bless
Gaby

God Bless Everyone
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Phillip Black

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Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
11/30/2008 10:55:49 PM

Hi Gaby,

Now that last one was Priceless!  I'm stiil Rolling On The Floor.

I automatically thought of this one and just had to share...

Y'all Have A Happy One,

Phil

“There may be trouble all around, but I am calling you to a place of peace. Be still and know that I am God. Come to Me, and I will give you wisdom, strength, and grace for everything you face." Psalm 46:10
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Mary Hannan

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Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/1/2008 12:35:48 AM

Hello Gaby,

I'm crookin here!

Thank you for that. I need a lot of laughs these days. I missed you too!
God Bless You,
Mary

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Mary Hannan

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Re: Seniors - don't mess with them!
12/1/2008 12:49:30 AM

Hello Phil,
I really like that one. I have to many graghics, I can't find the one I want. LOL!

Oh well, maybe tomorrow!
Have a peaceful evening,
Mary

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