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Linda Harvey

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UPS HUMOR
8/24/2008 2:50:12 PM
 Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high
 school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly
 routinely in our jobs.

 After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,'
 which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
 correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then
 pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

 Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
 Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots
 (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
 maintenance engineers.

 By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

 P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
 S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
 *
 P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
 S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 *
 P: Something loose in cockpit
 S: Something tightened in cockpit
 *
 P: Dead bugs on windshield.
 S: Live bugs on back-order..
 *
 P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
 Descent
 S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
 *
 P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
 S: Evidence removed.
 *
 P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
 S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 *
 P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
 S: That's what friction locks are for.
 *
 P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
 S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 *
 P: Suspected crack in windshield.
 S: Suspect you're right.
 *
 P: Number 3 engine missing.
 S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
 *
 P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one! )
 S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
 *
 P: Target radar hums.
 S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 *
 P: Mouse in cockpit.
 S: Cat installed.
 *
 And the best one for last
 *
 P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
 pounding on something with a hammer.
 S: Took hammer away from midget..
http://www.aarf.MyCTFO.com/cbd www.lindasdeals.net
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Jim
Jim Allen

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Re: UPS HUMOR
8/24/2008 3:25:09 PM

ROFLMAO!!!

May Wisdom and the knowledge you gained go with you,



Jim Allen III
Skype: JAllen3D
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Nick Sym

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Re: UPS HUMOR
8/24/2008 3:59:15 PM
Breast Cancer Awareness On My Site! http://www.freewebs.com/nicksym Free exposure that works http://www.webbizinsider.com/Home.asp?RID=55242
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Re: UPS HUMOR
8/24/2008 4:32:06 PM

Hooo, hooo Linda!

This was so funny it should win a funny prize!

May we always appreciate the gift of laughing!

Mattias Kroon Affiliate Creative Marketer http://moneymaker4554.blogspot.com/
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Judy Smith

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Re: UPS HUMOR
8/24/2008 6:24:38 PM

SO funny, Linda! 

Thank you for the hardy laugh!

Judy

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