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James Wright

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In Honor of the Late George Carlin...
7/5/2008 5:39:39 PM

Please share your favorite George Carlin statement, whether it be a video, or words. This is to honor the man who was not afraid to share his thoughts. May you rest in peace, George.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

                                                                                     --George Carlin--

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James Wright

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Re: In Honor of the Late George Carlin...
7/28/2008 12:16:56 AM

George Carlin.
Born May 12, 1937
New York, New York
Died June 22, 2008
Santa Monica, California

Intellectual stand-up comedian famed for his profanity. He proudly noted that he was the only comedian to have one of his routines become the subject of a Supreme Court case:  (FCC v. Pacifica - 438 U.S. 726, decided July 3, 1978).

 

Conflict • Funny

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Truth

The following statement is true. The preceding statement is false.

Honesty

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Sports

Baseball is the only major sport that looks backwards in a mirror.

Doctors and Health

Where does the dentist go when he leaves the room?

Imagination

I’m a visionary; I’m ahead of my time. Trouble is, I’m only about an hour and a half ahead.

Art and Music • Religion

The only good thing to come out of religion was the music.

Food and Drink • Money

Wherever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

Religion

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Jesus died for our sins. Dare we make his sacrifice meaningless by not committing them?

As far as I’m concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that’s worth believing.

Success and Failure • Optimism and Pessimism

No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Marriage

”I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

Funny

When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Miscellaneous

People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it’s really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn’t want you to know.

Literature

More people write poetry than read it.

 

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