Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...
whether you're here or not."
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
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Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel
on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary !
The husband yells, "When you
die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
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Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says,
"And you are no
good in bed either," and storms
out of the house.
After some time he realizes
he was nasty and
decides to make amends
and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and
the irritated husband
says,
"What took you so long to answer
to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
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Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is
very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself,
that he starts calling his
wife," Mother of Six" in
spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it IS time to
go
home and wants to find out if his
wife is ready to leave as well. He
shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall
we go home Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four"
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
