January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March: Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
box said "2-4 years!"
April: Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water
won't fit into those little packets!!!
June: Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
car swamped because soft-top was open.
September: The capital ofCalifornia is "C"....isn't it???
October: Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!
December: Couldn't call 911 . "duh"....there's no "eleven"
button on the stupid phone!!!
A man was in his front yard
mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the
house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut
and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house
again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to
edge the lawn, here she came out again,marched to the mail box, opened it
and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the
man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There
certainly is!" (Are you ready? This is a beauty...) "My stupid computer
keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
Happy TGIF!
Mary
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