THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as
soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for
as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your
regular clothes.

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Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing
religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you
remember that last time, breathing  didn't
do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your
eighth month.
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes,
color-coordinate them, and fold them 
neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that
the clothes are clean and discard only
the  ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a
whimper, a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old
how to rewind the mechanical swing..
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,
you put it away until you can go  home and
wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the
floor, you squirt it off with some  juice
from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt
and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers
every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every
two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper
before others start to complain  about the
smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby
Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd ba by: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby
with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the
door, you remember to leave a number 
where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the
sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday
watching to be sure your older child  
isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every
day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital  and
demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows
a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin
you deduct it from his allowance!
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Pass this on to everyone you know who has children
. . . or everyone who KNOWS  someone who has
had children . . . (The older the mother, the
funnier this is!) 

GRANDCHILDREN :
God's reward for allowing your children to live