An email I recieved which I think you can all relate to

Dear All...

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past
year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the
one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now
have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I
open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings
because I gave it to a sick girl(Penny Brown); who is about
to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

Actually, I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost
relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has
granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing
deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot
day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward e- mails to seven of my friends and
make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because
it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol
without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial
killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug
me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the
phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which
I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because
a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to
cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to
your great advice, I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found
under the car as there is probably a sex molester waiting
there to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in
the next 7 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12
camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy
hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second
husband's cousin's gay beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist, after a lengthy
study, has discovered that people with low IQ who have
infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with
their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now,
it's too late.

Have a rainbow day.

P.S. go look at the cute dog picture at http://www.comeplayme.net
and tell me what you think.