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"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the
following questions:
>
> Why did God make mothers?
> 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
> 2. Mostly to clean the house.
> 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
>
> How did God make mothers?
> 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
> 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
> 3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.
>
> What ingredients are mothers made of?
> 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
> 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.
>
> Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
> 1. We're related.
> 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
>
> What kind of little girl was your Mom?
> 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
> 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
> 3. They say she used to be nice.
>
> What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
> 1. His last name.
> 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
> 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?
>
> Why did your Mom marry your dad?
> 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
> 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
> 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
>
> Who's the boss at your house?
> 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
ball.
> 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
> 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
>
> What's the difference between moms and dads?
> 1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
> 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
> 3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
> 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
>
> What does your Mom do in her spare time?
> 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
> 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
>
> What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
> 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
> 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
>
>
> If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
> 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
that.
> 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
it and not me.
> 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
>
>
> THE MOMMY TEST
>
> I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her
and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked.
>
> "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's
dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
>
> At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, " All
moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to kn ow it, or they
don't let you be a Mommy."
>
> We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.
>
> "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be
the daddy."
>
> "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
>
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