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Thomas Richmond

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Re: Gross Jokes
7/14/2007 2:33:38 PM
Okay, okay now its really getting gross, are those yours Steven, lol. A Definite Definition

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt."

She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself.

Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"

Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him.

Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."

"Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"

Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.

"Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher.

"Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies.

"Yes."


"Do farts have lumps?"

"No. Why do you ask."

"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants." 
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Monica S

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Re: Gross Jokes
7/14/2007 3:04:43 PM

lol @ all of you! :)

Janet, you just have to accept that fact that you, are indeed, noti :) lol

Steven,  Thomas and I both want to know if those are yours... LOL

Thomas, another good joke.. I don't think I had heard that one before.. lol

 

 

~Monica

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Steven Suchar

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Re: Gross Jokes
7/14/2007 7:56:18 PM

THE MUSTARD STORY

I Love Mustard.  (This is a true story.  If you have children you will probably relate to this father.)

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.

I had no napkin.

I licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.  It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding out.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard "Poupon".


When you stop laughing, pass it on !!

Have a pleasant day...Steven.

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Thomas Richmond

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Re: Gross Jokes
7/14/2007 8:03:33 PM
I always thought ttat poupon smelled just a little funny the first time, remember how it got some getting used to??
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