Hahahhaha.... Monica, that joke on the archaeologist is superb... and naughty.... wohooo, here's one for you (by the way, I found this and I wanted to share but I don't know how true it is):
Do you know what does your dream mean? Do you know if your dream gave you a hint
of a better or not so better tomorrow? Are you curious to know what did you see
in your dream? If yes, find your dream below.
ACORN
Dreaming of acorns predicts pleasant things & that much gain is to be expected.
For a woman to dream of eating acorns denotes that she will rise to a position
of ease & pleasure.
To dream of shaking acorns from a tree means that you will rapidly attain your
wishes in business or love.
AIRPORT
In a dream the sight of a busy airport represents the desire for freedom and/or
travel.
If the airport is empty and deserted your own travel plans will be changed
or delayed.
ALMONDS
If you see almonds in your dream you'll have a temporary sorrow.
If you ate and enjoyed them, you'll be lucky, but if they tasted bitter, you
should delay any contemplated changes for as long as possible.
ANGELS
A favorable dream forecasting success, protection, happiness, and rewarding
friendships.
BABY
To see a baby in your dream signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings.
A love affair may be blooming for you in your near future. You will also make
new and fun friends.
If a woman dreams she is nursing a baby, she will be deceived by the one she
trusts the most
Seeing balloons in your dream indicates a dashing of hope on any and all fronts,
business or love, as well as a general falling off of all kinds of businesses
you may be involved in.
If you are ascending in a balloon this is an omen of especially frustrating
conditions in your life.
BEAR
To dream of killing a bear foretells liberation from entanglements.
BED
To dream of a clean, white bed denotes the end of worries.
If a woman dreams of making a bed, there will soon be a new lover in her life.
BICYCLE
To dream of riding a bicycle uphill signifies bright prospects.
To dream of riding downhill calls for care - misfortune is near.
BIRDS
Flying birds are a sign of prosperity to the dreamer.
BIRTH
If you dream of death it's a sign of a birth, if you dream of birth, it's a
sign of death.
BUTTERFLY
To see a butterfly among flowers indicates prosperity.
To see butterflies flying around denotes news from absent friends by letter
or from someone who has seen them.
CANDLES
To see candles burning with a clear and steady flame denotes the constancy of
those around you and a well-grounded fortune.
CATS
Dreaming of a cat is a generally unfortunate omen and it shows treachery as
well as a run of bad luck.
Cats attacking you represent enemies; if you succeed banishing them you will
overcome great obstacles and rise in fortune and fame.
CROW
Seeing a crow in your dream means disappointment in everything, grief and misfortune.
CROWN
To dream of a crown predicts a change in your life. The dreamer will travel
a long distance from home & form new relationships.
DEATH
If you dream of death it's a sign of a birth, if you dream of birth, it's a
sign of death.
DANCING
To dream that you are dancing means that some unexpected good fortune will come
to you.
DECEASED PERSON
If you should dream of a deceased person and this person speaks only to you,
pay close attention to what the spirit is telling you as it could be very important
to you.
To dream of seeing a deceased person is normally a dream of warning, and it
tells you that the influences around you at this time do not bode well for your
affairs, and you should not enter into any binding contracts or verbal agreements.
DIAMONDS
To dream of owning diamonds is a very promising dream signifying great honor
and recognition from high places.
DOG
To dream about a dog indicates great gain and constant friends.
To hear the barking of dogs foretells news of depressing nature. Difficulties
are more likely to follow.
DRAGONFLY
If you dream that a dragonfly lands on your body then you will have excellent
news from someone far away from home.
If you see a dead dragonfly, then the news will be bad.
A dragonfly perched gracefully on some other object shows that you will soon
be having guests that may be hard to get rid of.
DRIVING
If you dream that you are driving a vehicle it is a sign that you should be
careful to take no chances with your money, such as gambling, in the next two
weeks or so.
If someone else is doing the driving you will find yourself in luck, money
wise.
FACE
To dream of a smiling face signifies pleasant new friends, experiences, and/or
financial gains.
To dream of unpleasant or grotesque (unless amusingly so) faces portend loss.
To dream you are washing your face denotes a necessity to atone for some past
indiscretion; better make amends!
To see the faces of strangers signifies an approaching change of residence.
FALLING
To dream of falling indicates a loss of emotional equilibrium or self-control.
It may represent your insecurity, a lack of self-confidence, a fear of failure
or an inability to cope with a situation.
If you fall a long distance in your dream and get hurt, be prepared for really
hard times ahead; but if you fall and are not injured your upsets will be minor
and temporary.
GANG
To dream that you are confronted or threatened by a gang signifies circumstances
or situations in your waking life which are overwhelming and you feel have ganged
up on you.
GARDEN
To see a vegetable garden in your dream symbolizes increased prosperity will
come your way through diligence and care. It also suggests of stability and
inner growth.
To see a flower garden in your dream foretells of tranquility, comfort, true
love and happy home in your future.
To see a sparse, weed-infested garden denotes that you have neglected your
spiritual needs.
GLOVES
To dream of gloves means that you will have a lawsuit or business troubles,
but you will settle them in a manner that satisfies you.
To find a pair of gloves denotes a marriage or new love affair.
HAIR
Dreaming about hair means that you are careless in your personal affairs and
will lose advancement by neglecting mental application.
HAIRDRESSER
For a woman to dream of going to a hairdresser shows she will soon be entangled
in some family scandal concerning the morals of a member of her family. Should
she have her hair dyed, she will narrowly escape imprisonment.
For a man to dream of a hairdresser will presage much gossip or a need to dominate
a beautiful woman.
HAM
If you dream of eating ham then you will lose something that means a lot to
you.
HONEY
To dream of eating honey foretells that you will attain wealth and love.
ICE
Sitting on ice in your dreams is a dream of the contrary.
ICE CREAM
Eating, making, selling or serving ice cream suggests that you are feeling contentment
and satisfaction in your life.
JAIL
To dream that your lover is in jail signifies that this lover is deceitful
and untrustworthy.
To dream that you are in jail signifies your feelings of confinement and suffocation.
JAM
If you dream of eating jam you will suffer embarrassment at the hands of a woman
through no fault of your own.
KANGAROO
Seeing a kangaroo in your dreams foretells unexpected and exciting trips.
KEYS
To dream of keys denotes unexpected change. If the keys are lost, unpleasant
adventures will affect you. To find keys means domestic peace and success in
business.
KILLING
If you dreamed of killing someone, whether intentionally or by accident, it
signifies a period of severe emotional stress during which you must make a heroic
effort to control your temper.
LETTER
To dream of receiving a letter from a friend foretells their arrival or that
you will hear from them soon.
LIGHTS
A light shining out of the dark, or a flashlight beam, shows that you will finally
find the truth in a situation or the answer to a personal problem that you have
been
searching for. If the light is dim, you will only find part of the solution.
MAGIC
Any form of magic in a dream predicts unexpected changes.
To dream of being mystified and/or amused by a magician indicates a reunion
with a long-lost friend or the rekindling of a past love affair.
MARRIAGE
Dreaming of a marriage, or a wedding, is the sign of a death in the family.
If the marriage was between strangers, then the death pertains to a not too
close acquaintance or friend.
MICE
Dreaming of mice foretells domestic troubles or that business affairs will
assume a discouraging tone.
If you dream of a mouse jumping on you or getting in your clothing, then you
will be involved in a scandal with a friend.
MONKEY
To dream of a monkey denotes that you have deceitful friends who will flatter
you to advance their own interests.
NECK
A dream featuring the neck is a sign of approaching money, unless the dream
concerned a broken neck, in which case it is a warning against mismanagement
of your affairs.
NECKLACE
If you dream of losing a necklace you will soon be suffering bereavement of
a loved one.
If you dream your loved one places a necklace around your neck or that you
are wearing one, it shows an early marriage and a happy domestic life.
NEEDLE
To find a needle predicts that you will have friends who appreciate you.
To look for a needle foretells useless worries.
OAK TREE
To dream of an old, spreading oak means long life and prosperity. If it is
filled with acorns you are due a promotion or some type of increase in your
life.
If a newlywed sees many oak trees in a forest it foretells a long marriage
and many children.
OCEAN
If you dream you are standing on shore and watching the waves foam up as they
break over the beach foretells that you will have some narrow escape from an
accidental injury.
If you are far out on the ocean and hear the waves as they lap against the
hull of the ship, you will have setbacks in your business and a troubled domestic
scene.
To sail on a calm ocean is always a good omen for all concerned.
OWL
To dream of an owl denotes a narrow escape from desperate illness or death.
RACCOON
To dream of a raccoon warns you to be on your guard.. To see a raccoon in your
dream shows that people are presenting false faces to you in your everyday life.
To be chased by a raccoon shows that a person you thought a friend has turned
on you and now works behind your back for your downfall.
RAPE
Take this dream as a warning. Take precautions, protect yourself emotionally
and physically and don't engage in careless behaviors.
ROSE
If a woman dreams of receiving a rose and places it in her hair then will she
be deceived by someone thought of as a good friend.
If she receives a bouquet of roses in the Springtime she will find true love
but if it is winter her search will be fruitless.
To see a rose bush in full foliage denotes a wedding in the family.
RUNNING
Dream of running: a sign of a big change in your life.
SNAKES
To see a lone snake and feel threatened by it shows that you have a bad enemy
that is working against you, it also a warning against bodily harm from an enemy.
To dream of many snakes in a pit is the foreboding of much bad luck in love
or business.
Should you overcome and kill a threatening snake in your dream shows that you
will overcome your adversary and win out.
SPIDERS
All spiders except tarantulas are omens of good luck. The larger the spider,
the bigger the rewards.
If you see a spider climbing the wall you will have your dearest wish come
true.
If you see a spider spinning a web you will have an increase in your income
due to hard work.
TATTOOS
If you dream you are a tattoo artist and you are tattooing someone's body you
will soon break with friends or family over strange practices.
If you dream you are the one being tattooed you will become the target for
a strangers jealousy but if you see someone else with tattoos then you will
take a long, hard journey from home.
TEA
To dream that you are thirsty for tea means that you will be surprised with
uninvited guests.
TEETH
If you dream of having false teeth this indicates that you will have unexpected
help on a problem.
To dream of rotten teeth shows that you have been telling someone a lie or
using your smooth words for getting your own way.
If your teeth are rotten, crooked, and/or falling out this means that your
lies are hurting someone very badly and that you will soon be found out.
If you dream you have swallowed a tooth you will soon have too 'eat your words'
UMBRELLA
Carrying a closed umbrella in the rain is highly unfortunate for the dreamer
and his business plans.
To dream of carrying an open umbrella in the rain is a very fortunate sign
that speaks of good luck in most endeavors.
A leaky umbrella denotes quarrels with loved ones.
WATER
Dreaming of clear water is a sign of great good luck and prosperity, a dream
of muddy water foretells sadness or sorry for the dreamer through hearing of
an illness or death of someone he/she knows well.
Dirty water warns of unscrupulous people who would bring you to ruin.
YARN
To dream of yarn shows you will soon become the wife of a wealthy man
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City Building,
when a young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive
perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance"
by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very
arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is
about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women
in the eye, then bends over, farts and says...
"Broccoli. 49 cents a pound!"
Love ya,
Rina