Hello my friends,
This is Domestic Violence Month, I will be sharing topics every day this month on Empowering you to take back your Power and Control.

My daughters are having Rallies at there school with there friends at lunch to Empower the children.

Have a very blessed day.
Kathy Hamilton/simikathy.com
253 277 1238
Please call me if you need someone who will listen

IN EVERY ISSUE

OPRAH'S CUT

VERBAL ABUSE: HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF
Seven Signs You're In A Verbally Abusive Relationship

A checklist from the book that woke up Brandy:

1.	He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault.
2.	When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about.
3.	You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions.
4.	You're upset—not so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say.
5.	You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad."
6.	He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right.
7.	You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!"

Adapted from The Verbally Abusive Relationship © 1992, 1996 by Patricia Evans. Printed with permission from Adams Media.

Kathy,
I have lived in a verbally abusive realationship for 30 or so years.
I am now in complete control of my life, and due to a change in the way my world has to work, for the first time-I am the one in charge.

I have had a lot of time to think deeply about a lot of things having been evacuated for a year.
Now that I am in charge and my husband is making an ernest attempt to change-he has no choice, it is be nice or leave. He has to think first as he has no place to go.

I have been having "conversation" sessions with him to train him to speak civily.
In the process, I have reduced the process to a board game.
I am very excited because for the first time he has to listen to me when I say that is hurtful.
I let him know that I will get up and walk at any sentence that begins with "Do you know what "your" problem is?"
Do not follow or speak.
Conversation ended, we can do it again tomorrow.

This is hard for him.
I don't care.
I no longer make decisions based on what someone says or thinks.
It is very liberating.
I have to practice patience and compassion in order to get back what I need, but for the first time I have the chance.
Thank you for sharing so much and working so tirelessly to help others.
You have helped me in many ways.

Kathy and Joyce,

My heart is ripped open wide when I see others abuse others.  I see it between husband and wives, fathers and children, mothers and children, children and children...  I can presume that most everyone has been in a position of some level of abuse that they feel bad about.  It is a most disruptive force in the human soul. 

I hope that your sharing of this topic will help those who are being abused to learn how to not suffer anymore and for those who are abusing to understand that it is very bad and must be stopped. 

It is better to be happy than right!

Thank you for being courageous.  You are awesome!

Hello Kathy and friends!

I agree with Joe. We see and hear to so many strange things every day. People are out of mind. Good people fear to do what must be done. The authorities are day dreamers like nothing have happpend.

I will be in touch. The POTW - Celebration caught me for the Week End.

Thank you for setting up this topic  and for the invitation.

You good friend
Georgios
 

I am on the verge of filing for a divorce... why?  no physical abuse or anything...just the mere fact that my husband went on a work business trip that I was banned from going on and was told he'd have his own room with himself and another male from another franchise to share.  It was when he came home that I learned he shared that room for 4 nites with another female coworker and his mother and boss all knew of this weeks in advance.  Am I crazy or am I expected to accept that my husband spent 5 days in a five star hotel resort with a younger woman?  If I am expected to take this crap, I think I would be the first in history to have to just sweep it under the rug and not be wanting to divorce.  He doesnt want a divorce - says they didnt have sex - but you know what?  He lied about the arrangements and therefore I cannot get past that he is lying on the details while spending those nites with this other woman.  I am disgusted and brokenhearted.  I cannot see past this and I was told that the room was shared so they could 'save money' yet both had their trips paid for... so in otherwords, my point is this - that money saved should now be allocated for marriage counseling.  I am livid with anger and we need professional help.  All I wanted was for me and him and our kids to have a family vacation... he said to me some months ago that life as I know it is it.  There is no vacations as he cannot afford this.  He makes over $100K per year - I guess not when you're living a lie and money is spent elsewhere.  I am kept in the dark and I am done.  I cannot and will not tollerate this crap.  Especially when I know for a fact that the woman who booked this trip would never in a million years let her husband room with another younger female.

 

LEE SMITH