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Sheri Webber

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...SEX
5/31/2007 5:54:33 PM

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking.  "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh,  nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." 
"Social Security sex?" 
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live > on!"
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LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." 
"My dear," the  shrink said, "that's  completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is,"  she complained, "it wakes me up!" 
-------------------------------------------------------------- 
QUIET SEX 
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came  right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,  "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" 
She  glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!" 
-----------------------------------------------------------------  CONFOUNDED  SEX 
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would  be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large."
The man  was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. 
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. 
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. 
The man  answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."
----------------------------------------------------------------- 
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX 
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of  their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm  getting you a headstone that reads:   'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she  replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone  that reads:   Here Lies My  Husband - Stiff At  Last.'" 
----------------------------------------------------------------- 
WOMEN'S HUMOROUS  SEX 
My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right.  When he went out of the  bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in. 
----------------------------------------------------------------- 
ELDERLY  SEX
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. 
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor "assisted living apartment" .. Killing him instantly. 
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her
if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly."

Sheri Webber CCH, CRP Certified Consulting Hypnotherapist | Certified Raindrop Practitioner Soul Comfort Wellnes Centre Young Living Independent Distributor 913479 | It Works Marketing Independent Distributor 58745 http://www.soulcomfortwellnesscentre.com | http://www.soulcomforthypnosis.com | http://www.soulcomfort.younglivingworld.com | http://www.soulcomfort.itworks.net
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Edward Pena

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Re: ...SEX
5/31/2007 6:40:47 PM
Sheri great sex jokes.
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Ray
Ray Ducharme

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Re: ...SEX
5/31/2007 10:15:19 PM

They do make me smile:)Thanks Sheri.

http://www.saferforyourhome.com/

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John Leal

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Re: ...SEX
6/1/2007 1:17:38 AM
Hi Sheri At my age a carton of beer may be the best option! May I add this one? Okay. GOOD LUCK, MR GORSKY! On July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. Just before he re-entered Apollo II he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck, Mr Gorsky." The people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival cosmonaut. However, after checking the records, they found that there was no "Gorsky" in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr Gorsky" meant, but Armstrong would smile and say nothing. On July 6, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26yr old question to Armstrong. This time he responded. Mr Gorsky had since died, and Neil Armstrong felt that he could finally answer the question. Back in 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-western town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in his neighbour's yard, near the bedroom windows. The neighbours were Mr and Mrs Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Neil Armstrong heard Mrs Gorsky shout at Mr Gorsky, "Sex! You want sex? You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!" True story.
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Sheri Webber

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Re: ...SEX
6/1/2007 8:20:26 PM

John,

That was awesome! I Love it!!!!

Thank you,

Sheri Lynn

Sheri Webber CCH, CRP Certified Consulting Hypnotherapist | Certified Raindrop Practitioner Soul Comfort Wellnes Centre Young Living Independent Distributor 913479 | It Works Marketing Independent Distributor 58745 http://www.soulcomfortwellnesscentre.com | http://www.soulcomforthypnosis.com | http://www.soulcomfort.younglivingworld.com | http://www.soulcomfort.itworks.net
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