Hi My Friends
Bring me "You're Getting Old Jokes"
Here's a little something to start the day off with.
10 ADVANTAGES OF GROWING OLD
1. Your joints are more accurate than the
National Weather Service.
2. Kidnappers ignore you.
3. Sexual harassment charges against you just don't stick.
4. People no longer think you're a hypochondriac.
5. Your secrets are now safe with your friends because
they can't remember them either.
6. Your eyes won't get much worse.
7. You're no longer expected to run into a burning building.
8. Whatever you buy now won't wear out.
9. In a hostage situation, you're likely to be released first.
10. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Remember...
Once you get over the hill, you'll begin to pick up speed.
I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put some in the food.
...If it weren't for STRESS I'd have no energy at all.
Whatever hits the fan... Will Not Be Evenly Distributed.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me, just don't have any film.
I always know...
God won't give me more than I can handle
There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
Dogs Have Owners ~ Cats Have Staff
If the shoe fits... buy a pair in every color.
Never be too open-minded, your brains may fall out.
Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian. Not any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Bills travel through the mail... at twice the speed of checks.
If you look like your passport picture... you probably need the trip.
Some days are a total waste of makeup.
~~~
Men are from earth.
Women are from earth.
Deal with it.
~~~
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
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