Hello Friends,
I couldn't resist I had to share these with you. :)
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LOT'S WIFE:
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back
and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My
Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced
triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
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DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot
of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
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HIGHER POWER:
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning
how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a
higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out, "Aces!"
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MOSES & THE RED SEA:
Nine-year-old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in
Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of
Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon
bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up
the bridge and all the Israelites were saved".
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother
asked.
"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd
never believe it!"
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THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD:
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one
of the most quoted passages in the Bible; Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the verse. Little Rick was excited about
the task -- but, he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much
practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front
the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he
stepped up to the microphone and said proudly,
"The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
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UNANSWERED PRAYER?
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always
paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon.
One day, she asked him why.
"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of
his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
"How come He doesn't do it?" she asked.
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BEING THANKFUL
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER
During the minister's prayer, one Sunday, there was a loud whistle
from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She
pinched him into silence and, after church, asked,
"Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?"
Gary answered, soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle and He
just then did!"
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TIME TO PRAY
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
"Yes sir," the boy replied.
"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
"No sir," the boy replied "I ain't scared in the daytime."
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BEWARE OF TRASH
One particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our 'trash
baskets' as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS?
When my daughter, Kelli, was 3, she and my son, Cody, would say
their nightly prayers, together. As most children do, we have to
bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current
and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly
prayer, Kelli would say, And all girls."
As this soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this at
the end, my curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli, why
do you always add the part about all girls?"
Her response, "Because we always finish our prayers by saying,
'All Men'!"
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SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the
food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate,
he started eating right away.
"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother
insisted "We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's our house," Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house,
and she knows how to cook!"
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Aren't Kids Great! :)
Len