LIVING AUTHENTICALLY
By Dr. Joe Rubino
* John hides feelings of unworthiness and being not good enough. To conceal these thoughts, he projects himself as a know-it-all authority on most every subject.
* Sue fears she is stupid and won't be accepted because of this. To compensate, she becomes the class clown in an attempt to fit in and be liked.
* Bill nearly killed his brother in a fight when he was 6 years old. He hides the evil thoughts he entertains and projects a saint-like character.
* Linda was physically abused as a child and sees herself as worthless trash. To compensate, she takes on the role of the helper, unable to do enough for others.
Each of these people cannot embrace the images they hold of themselves. They live being someone they are not and will do just about anything to avoid coming to terms with who they fear they are - which is sub-standard in some way. Of course, this is never who they are deep inside. The result is that by living a lie, we don't get who they really are. We get who they are pretending to be.
You maximize your personal power when you exude authentic energy. When you speak from the heart and walk your talk, others get the real you. Living authentically comes from closing the gap between who you are, what you do and what you want others to get about you. Authenticity results when who you are being equals what you are speaking. In contrast, when you project a facade that differs from what you think, others sense the disparity. When your speaking and being don't match, it keeps you from being heard and decreases your personal effectiveness.
For example, have you ever invited someone to attend an event and they said they would try to come but their manner of being told you they would not? You perceived the person caught in a lie as in authenticity.
The answer to living authentically starts with being at peace with who you are. It's about making the decision to no longer live a lie or project an image that conceals some aspect of yourself you are hiding. We all live out of images we hold about ourselves, other people and the world in general. When the image we have of who we are is inconsistent with the image we wish others to get about us, we put on an act to conceal whatever it is we cannot stand.
Accessing your power means completing with your past. It's about loving yourself for who you are and not being afraid to let your guard down and allow others to love you. When your past no longer runs you, you can live with an authenticity that comes from being yourself. You then have the freedom to focus on inventing your future as you reinvent yourself on purpose.
EXERCISE FOR AUTHENTICITY
1) In what respects are you living a lie? What qualities or thoughts about yourself are you reluctant to let others discover?
2) Identify where you are incomplete with anyone or anything in your past. What steps will you take toward completion?
Dr. Joe Rubino
CEO, The Center for Personal Reinvention
http://www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com
Author, The Self-Esteem Book
http://www.TheSelfEsteemBook.com