When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender said "Sorry sir, we don't serve spirits here"!
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people!
What's the witches favourite pop group?
Broomski Beat!
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
No one moved, they couldn't stir without her!
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside? A witch dressed as a cucumber!
Why does Dracula have no friends?
Because he's a pain in the neck!
How can you tell when a witch is really ugly?
When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes!
Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?
A: A humburger!
Q: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?
A: A bee in a submarine!
Q: What's more dangerous than being with a fool?
A: Fooling with a bee!
Q: What did the spider say to the bee?
A: Your honey or your life!
Q: Who is a bee's favorite painter?
A: Pablo Beecasso!
Q: What did the bee say to the other bee in summer?
A: Swarm here isn't it!
Q: What is a bee's favorite classical music composer?
A: Bee-thoven!
Q: Who writes books for little bees?
A: Bee-trix Potter!
Q: Where do bees go on holiday?
A: Stingapore!
Q: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him?
A: He's bee-witched!
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
A: He felt funny!
Q: What's striped and bouncy?
A: A tiger on a pogo stick!
Q: What is the cat's favorite TV show?
A: The evening mews!
Q: How can you get a set of teeth put in for free?
A: Smack a lion!
Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Q: How is cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!
Q: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A: A tiger moth!
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