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If these sound familiar and I've already placed them, please let me know
Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!
Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she's invisible!
What sister?
Doctor, Doctor I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off.
Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!
Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!
Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God
When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth...
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible
Who said that?
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
Out for the count!
What kinds of wizards have their eyes closest together?
The smallest ones!
Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath!
What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back again!
Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
That's the time to go to sweep!
What happened when the wizard met the witch?
It was love at first fright!
When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
When you're a mouse!
How do you keep a wizard in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow...!
What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A chicken sandwitch!
Why did the witches go on strike?
They wanted sweeping reforms!
When a witch falls into a pond what is the first thing that she does?
Get wet!
What did the witch say to the ugly toad?
"I'd put a curse on you but it looks like someone already beat me to it"!
What do you call a warlock who tries to stop fights?
A peacelock!
What kinds of wizards can jump higher than a bus?
All of them, busses don't jump!
What happened when the wizard drank a bottle of lemonade?
He burped 7-Up!
What do Scotsmen eat?
Tart'n'pie!
What is heavier, a full moon or a half moon?
The full moon because it's lighter!
What town in England makes terrible sandwiches?
Oldham!
What would you call theft in Peking?
A Chinese takeaway!
What animals are on legal documents?
Seals!
What did you get for christmas?
A mouth organ, its the best present I've ever had.
Why?
My mum gives me extra pocket money every week not to play it!
Where do tadpoles change?
In a croakroom!
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