Hello Jill

I would like to say thank you for your help and making my mind up, I love your site and have left you a note in your guestbook, and I shall use homestead.com for my poems and adwords and maybe some affiliates, but I don't want to spoil the site really,The site is for the Military boys and girls serving now and past, I have my poems and loads of photos, so the idea is to rotate them every month or so, If the world was full of more people like you Jill, it would be a better place to live in believe me,

May all your days be bright, you have a lovely family

Ian                     

                  

Hi Ian,

Sorry it took me so long to get back here.  10 lashes!

Thank you so much for the kind words.  I love helping people.....and that's it, but I also think you have a wonderful cause and mission  :-)

Thank you for the guestbook message, and I am glad you have found Homestead.  It is definitely user friendly and I think you will do well.  I am excited to put a link on my Attitude site when you are done.  Your work is so important, and will touch a lot of lives.

I know my son will be elated to see you site, and he also has many people for whom he can share it also.

Keep up the great work!

God bless you,  Jill

THE BARMAN

You stare at your reflection, on the polished walnut bar, but the sad eyes gazing back can't tell them who you are

So you nod towards the barman and flick your empty glass, and resigned to getting drunk you rest your trainers on the brass.

Nicotine stained fingers scratch the stubble on your chin, five days growth of beard hides the pain within,You growl "make it a double", as the Barman walks on past, as you reach into your pocket you know this will be your last.

"Looks like you need this" says the barman with a smile "like to talk it over, i'll sit here with you a while", So you talk about the weather, and the local football team but you're heart just isn't in this, no matter how polite you seem

You start to make excuses as you finish off your "Grouse", but the barman pours another and says " this one's on the house", You're starting to get angry with all this mundane 'gab' and you're tired hands are shaking, as you light up one more tab.

The irritation passes as you draw the smoke in deep, but the taste of the "Virginia" can't make up for lack of sleep, Then you realise he's watching that you've drifted, drifted off again and once more the panic rises, and the thought you might be insane.

These 'black spots' seem more frequent since the tablets all ran out, and sometimes the merest whisper thunders through like a shout, but the barman's smiling friendly and you know you need not fret cos this guy has a look, like he knows that you are a VET

" I've seen you're sort in here before" is his very next remark " you Army lads always walk in here as it's becoming dark" " You crawl into a bottle to forget all you're hates", " and you drown out all your memories, of the men you once called mates".

" So come on lad just tell us, I've heard the tales before", " of the Falklands and Northern Ireland, tell me what it was you saw"? So you babble out your story, of Bosnia and the wooden Church floor, you explain every detail as you fall through into the sespit of bodies, the smell ,their faces, the looks of horror, and what stays with you, then you hang your head and sigh, BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE PROBLEMS, WHEN THE BARMAN STARTS TO CRY.

IAN WOOLLEY  59COMMANDO,R.E.

MILITARY MEDAL, QUEENS GALLANTRY MEDAL, GULF WAR MEDAL