|
For The Kids...
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!
Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
Q: What does a lion brush his mane with?
A: A catacomb!
Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Miaooooooooooooooooooow!
Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!
Q: Why do tomcats fight?
A: Because they like raising a stink!
Q: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
A: They are both ginger nuts!
Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A: A catameringue!
Q: On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A: A caterpillar!
Q: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A: A Peking Tom!
What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations!
Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Teacher: Really?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!
What do history teachers make when they want to get together?
Dates!
What do they talk about?
The good old days!
Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince?
Old King Coal!
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Why did the teacher put the lights on?
Because the class was so dim!
How did Vikings communicate?
By norse code!
Teacher: How much is half of 8?
Pupil: Up and down or across?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!
What is a forum?
Two-um plus two-um!
Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?
Because they're crab apples!
What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound!
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What do you call a demon who slurps his food?
A goblin!
What do you have to take to become a coroner?
A stiff exam!
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs!
What did the cannibal say when he was full?
''I couldn't eat another mortal!''
|