The following lists indicators that you can use to gauge whether you are being subjected to emotional abuse: You understand their feelings, but they never attempt to understand yours They dismiss your difficulties or issues as unimportant or an overreaction Your feelings are consistently invalidated. They do not listen to you They always put their needs before yours They expect you to perform tasks that you find unpleasant or humiliating You "walk on eggshells" in an effort not to upset them They ignore logic and prefer histrionics in order to remain the centre of attention They manipulate you into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with you They attempt to destroy any outside support you receive by belittling that support in an effort to retain exclusive control over your emotions They never take responsibility for hurting others They blame everyone and everything else for any unfortunate events in their lives They perceive themselves as martyrs or victims and constantly expect preferential treatment. Maltreatment occurs exclusively when they are unhappy with your behavior. They love you and treat you like a prince(ss) when they are happy with your behavior. They aren't happy with your behavior very often. They compare you negatively to others. They treat all other people kindly, and never yell or emotionally abuse anyone else except yourself. In psychiatry, histrionic personality disorder (HPD), or hysterical personality disorder, is a personality disorder which involves a pattern of excessive emotional expression and attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, that usually begins in early adulthood. The essential feature of the histrionic personality disorder; The essential feature of the histrionic personality disorder is a pervasive and excessive pattern of emotionality and attention-seeking behavior. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others. The cause of this disorder is unknown, but childhood events and genetics may both be involved. It occurs more frequently in women than in men, although some feel it is simply more often diagnosed in women because attention-seeking and sexual forwardness is less socially acceptable for women.[citation needed] The Histrionic Personality Disorder is only rarely found in men. However, in these instances there may be additional difficulties with regard to this person's sexual identification. People with this disorder are usually able to function at a high level and can be successful socially and at work. However, histrionic personality disorder may affect a person's social or romantic relationships or their ability to cope with losses or failures. People with this disorder may seek treatment for depression when romantic relationships end. They often fail to see their own situation realistically, instead tending to dramatize and exaggerate. Responsibility for failure or disappointment is usually blamed on others. They may go through frequent job changes, as they become easily bored and have trouble dealing with frustration. Because they tend to crave novelty and excitement, they may place themselves in risky situations. All of these factors may lead to greater risk of developing depression.

GOOD POST KATHY.--DON

Hi Kathy,

Thank you for your informative posting.

Although this list probably portrays this disorder accurately it is a very difficult area of behaviour to be exact about.

The problem here is that, if we are honest, most of us suffer or commit one or more of these acts frequently because our very survival is based upon gaining and using strategies that work for us. We are sometimes only too aware of what we have done after the event and hopefully are able to apologise or make amends.

This is not an excuse to perpitrate any of these actions but merely to point out that because somebody is guilty of one or more of these actions they do not nescessarily fit into this particular frame. I feel that folks might use this list to point and accuse their partners or spouses etc. of being this type of person when all along they are repeating part of that behaviour themselves.

I never thought that I would reach a point where I said that political and social correctness had gone too far but I now have. In Europe now, anybody who feels slightly agrieved by something, can find a lawyer willing to spend thousands of somebody's Euros/Dollars/Pounds to drag the matter to The European Courts of Human Rights to voice the matter, create a precedent and then impact the lives of millions in the setting up of unworkable legislation that might well impact a whole society by changing a long held and traditional belief held by the majority.

The US has long had the system which has led to ridiculous divorce settlements and accident claims on many occasions and favours the richest in society and we in Europe are now experiencing the same. We are now in a position where the very poorest and the very richest in society have a weapon, designed for good, but, which now acts against the majority. This is dangerous because (and I am the biggest champion there is for minority groups) when the majority feel excluded you have created a monster. In the USA you are proud of your freedom, and rightly so, but like us, you are in danger of blurring the lines so much that those who feel that freedom has gone too far are able to raise huge numbers of people for their cause and therefore open these new groups up to manipulation.

Kathy,

This is not a critisism of your article but a warning to others to use the information wisely.

With best  intentions.

Roger