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We'll all be there someday... ...........
A very elderly gentleman, (mid-nineties) very well dressed, hair well
Groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a
Good after shave, presenting a well tended image, walks into an upscale
Cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady,
(mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a
Drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here
Often?"
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An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor, who was able to have him fitted for a set of
Hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. He returned to the doctor
In
A month, and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family
Must
Be really pleased that you can hear again."
The man replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around
And listen to the conversations. So far I've changed my will three
Times!"
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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench
Under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years
Old
Now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age.
How
Do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after
Eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The men were
Talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and
It
Was really great. I would recommend it very highly.
The other man said, "What's the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of
That flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red
And
Has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the
Kitchen and yelled,
"Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged;
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly
Gentleman,
Already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who
Insisted he needed no help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to
The elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife were meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom,
Changing
Out of her hospital gown."
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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
Getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's
Go
Get a beer."
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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It
Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's
Perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
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Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
Days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
Gorgeous
Young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to
Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart
murmur; be careful.'"
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Live Long,
And Be Happy!
Kathy Hamilton/simikathy.com
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